Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
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Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic - apologizing. He says too many people are apologizing too often
Mark reads the definition
Jim counters with thinking it’s a trigger for him. He brings up a conversation he just had with a 30 something and how he said he was sorry over and over…to the point that it was totally inauthentic
He was regretting things he said and did
Mark agrees about authenticity being critical. He says too many people apologize for offending groups
Jim says “This not an excuse, it’s an explanation”. I’d like to explain what happened
The difference between an apology and an explanation
Mark says context is missing from conversation
Jim says you should save apologies for when you really mean them. When you’ve reflected and given thought to what you may have said or done
Mark says if the apology doesn’t feel difficult, then don’t do it. It needs to feel difficult
Jim ponders when to accept or not accept an apology. He is anticipating a call later today with a friend who is in an overwhelming state. This guy says sorry too much and Jim wonders whether to confront his friend or not. He wonders if h should let his friend “get away with it
Mark says it’s important to start off conversation on a positive note and then get candid, but with kindness
It’s approach and timing
Mark rereads the definition of apology. Definition number 3…excuses
Jim thinks apology is different than an explanation and different than an excuse
Jim appreciates when people take responsibility and also consider how to keep this same thing from happening again. An opportunity to get better
People that say sorry all the time are dangerous. Our word is everything. Our integrity
Jim thinks social media and technology have made communication m ore difficult…ironically
Mark talks about how many words have lost their meaning. Racism and Nazi and sorry
Jim recounts a Father’s Day event about the racism comment. He says,” tell me what you think that means”. Both guys agree that we need to be more careful with words and make sure both parties agree on the meaning of words before discussing them
Mark brings up patriarchy as another word being abused
Jim adds the word “literally’. Mark agrees it’s a “filler” word, unnecessary and irrelevant
He adds the accountability that’s missing in communication. You have to call out these abusers of words
Mark brings up the phrase “toxic masculinity” and how people want apologies for this too. Mark says “fuck that”
Mark talks about people in the public domain who are forced to apologize
Jim asks Mark to look up “dignity” and the guys both agree that apologizing without authenticity forces someone to give up his dignity
Mark brings up the leadership training he’s doing now and how much of an issue this apology thing is in corporate America. Jim agrees
Mark suggests that the person on the receiving end of the apology needs to call out inauthentic apology
Jim says there are situations when you just have to remain quiet or you’ll get “kicked out of the club”
Mark says it’s important to pick your spots. What am I going to gain from calling someone out? You gotta read the room and you have to maintain your integrity
Give some thought to what you are trying to accomplish. Be authentic and work toward some type of benefit or progress
Jim says sometimes it’s tough to balance authenticity with empathy
Mark talks about people misinterpreting him and then brings up the exception of his two daughters. Jim calls him on it they have a laugh
Jim brings back up the importance of the meaning of words. Both guys agree that clarifying what a word or topic means before discussing it is critical for clarity
Mark goes back to his daughters and uses the word feminism as an example
Jim says the meaning of words can be generational. Mark agrees there is nuance to the meaning of certain words
Mark brings up Juneteenth and both guys have fun making fun
He says he sees a trend where we’re teaching people that being over sensitive makes you better person somehow
Both guys are put off by the victimhood connect to the apology issue
Mark says the media portrays a different world than the one he lives in
Jim talks about some of the things we can apologize to ourselves about
Mark thinks it’s more about forgiving yourself and then they put things in the context of career
The guys bring in the 5 areas of life from the wheel and Jim talks specifically about money
Jim also says that some people simply expect to be forgiven. They think they’ll get a “pass”
Both guys agree we should apologize less and pause to think before we apologize