Mentorship - The Difference Between Being Nice And Being Kind
Release Date: 07/08/2024
Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
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Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Mark introduces the topic of mentorship
Jim reflects on the difference between being nice and kind. Real mentorship requires telling people things they need to hear but maybe don’t want to. He refers to some of the work Mark is doing, in part holding people accountable. Jim says showing up, prepared and consistently is huge
Mark agrees. He brings in communication and how social media and technology have revolutionized the way we communicate…and not for the better. Mark says people are confused about accountability and compassion.
Jim says it’s easier to be critical online than face to face. Mark agrees enthusiastically
Mark asks Jim to share the story that shared before the recording that prompted the topic of mentorship
Jim shares his recent encounter with a young man he’s known for 15 years and has mentored. How their interactions have evolved with some tough honesty. It started 15 years ago with a golf tournament and ended up raising #240,000,000 to rebuild three high school athletic facilities
He suggests that even the coaches need coaches. He reflects on mentoring kids for the last Beelzebub’s and the last whistle. How important sports are for teaching kids about life. He’s now able to see kids from 15 years ago become men. Mark marvels at Jim’s impact
Jim reflects on the political components of his mentorship and also that anyone can do anything they want in this country if they learn how to compete
Mark reflects on his feeling of obligation to be kind in the moment when you encounter anyone. That a small gesture or comment can change someone’s life
Jim agrees and reminds us this holds true for people closest to us as well. Jim says its the mans job to step up and be the bad guy. He asks Mark about this in the context of his divorce
Mark talks about disagreeing kindly with his daughters and how that increases their respect for him. He says “no” is one of the most important words a parent can use for 16 or so years:)
Jim brings up another quote, “I’d rather be feared than liked” and then he adds the context what is meant by the word “feared”
Mark shares the origin of “being feared” in his opinion…the Bible
Jim agrees and then contextualizes his spirituality
Mark attributes a saying to Jordan Peterson about living by the Ten Commandments even without believing in God
Mark reflects on his current client and how he works closely with people personally. In doing so he’s uncovered how many things that young people don’t know and how important sharing wisdom while mentoring them
Jim agrees and adds that this I also exaggerated by how much information is coming at us today versus years ago. So much info coming SO fast
Mark explains how he vets things in the current noisy environment
Jim brings up the recent presidential debate…can you blame them (the young) for being confused
Mark says he hopes it will wake people up who have been swallowing the nonsense from “whoever you are” and start to questions those in power
Jim piles on and Mark says “If you didn’t see that for what it was, shame on you”
He asks Jim again to tell his story about the young man he recently met with to reset their relationship with candor. He identifies with this young man’s full plate, but also how capable he is. They met for dinner to address their relationship. Jim used our wheel and brought up being your best self. He shares details about his students responsibilities and challenges. He was kind and not nice. Jim shares his recognition about getting older and “running out of time” and how his program is now beginning to bring in even younger kids and it’s really working…now with 15 years of evidence
Mark observes that this approach has ripple effects
Jim is appreciative of Mark’s perspective, in particular, the families of these young kids
He then brings up his annual cookouts at his house and how they haven’t missed one in 15 years and how the kids benefit from this shrining example of consistency and continuity
Jim then reflects on growing up where he did and with whom he did and how it shaped his work ethic and his own approach to showing up
Mark shares hi story about his son coming out of addiction, blossoming and the notion of him being a role model. The importance of modeling in mentorship
Jim gets clear on how important it is to have an agent. Everybody needs one to see things they can’t
Jim reflects on when he and Mark first met to map the IMC plan out. He mentions
The guys reflect o a program they both participated in over the weekend and the phrase “don’t die with your music inside you” and how we have an obligation to share what we know
The guys are building a program and it isn’t quite done yet, but it will definitely be some wisdom shared for a price
Our service will be essentially customizing our experience and wisdom to help men lead better lives