Mentorship - The Difference Between Being Nice And Being Kind

 

 

Mark introduces the topic of mentorship

Jim reflects on the difference between being nice and kind.  Real mentorship requires telling people things they need to hear but maybe don’t want to. He refers to some of the work Mark is doing, in part holding people accountable. Jim says showing up, prepared and consistently is huge

Mark agrees. He brings in communication and how social media and technology have revolutionized the way we communicate…and not for the better. Mark says people are confused about accountability and compassion.

Jim says it’s easier to be critical online than face to face. Mark agrees enthusiastically

Mark asks Jim to share the story that shared before the recording that prompted the topic of mentorship

Jim shares his recent encounter with a young man he’s known for 15 years and has mentored. How their interactions have evolved with some tough honesty. It started 15 years ago with a golf tournament and ended up raising #240,000,000 to rebuild three high school athletic facilities

He suggests that even the coaches need coaches. He reflects on mentoring kids for the last Beelzebub’s and the last whistle. How important sports are for teaching kids about life. He’s now able to see kids from 15 years ago become men. Mark marvels at Jim’s impact

Jim reflects on the political components of his mentorship and also that anyone can do anything they want in this country if they learn how to compete

Mark reflects on his feeling of obligation to be kind in the moment when you encounter anyone. That a small gesture or comment can change someone’s life

Jim agrees and reminds us this holds true for people closest to us as well. Jim says its the mans job to step up and be the bad guy. He asks Mark about this in the context of his divorce

Mark talks about disagreeing kindly with his daughters and how that increases their respect for him. He says “no” is one of the most important words a parent can use for 16 or so years:)

Jim brings up another quote, “I’d rather be feared than liked” and then he adds the context what is meant by the word “feared”

Mark shares the origin of “being feared” in his opinion…the Bible

Jim agrees and then contextualizes his spirituality

Mark attributes a saying to Jordan Peterson about living by the Ten Commandments even without believing in God

Mark reflects on his current client and how he works closely with people personally. In doing so he’s uncovered how many things that young people don’t know and how important sharing wisdom while mentoring them

Jim agrees and adds that this I also exaggerated by how much information is coming at us today versus years ago. So much info coming SO fast

Mark explains how he vets things in the current noisy environment

Jim brings up the recent presidential debate…can you blame them (the young) for being confused

Mark says he hopes it will wake people up who have been swallowing the nonsense from “whoever you are” and start to questions those in power

Jim piles on and Mark says “If you didn’t see that for what it was, shame on you”

He asks Jim again to tell his story about the young man he recently met with to reset their relationship with candor. He identifies with this young man’s full plate, but also how capable he is. They met for dinner to address their relationship. Jim used our wheel and brought up being your best self. He shares details about his students responsibilities and challenges. He was kind and not nice. Jim shares his recognition about getting older and “running out of time” and how his program is now beginning to bring in even younger kids and it’s really working…now with 15 years of evidence

Mark observes that this approach has ripple effects

Jim is appreciative of Mark’s perspective, in particular, the families of these young kids

He then brings up his annual cookouts at his house and how they haven’t missed one in 15 years and how the kids benefit from this shrining example of consistency and continuity

Jim then reflects on growing up where he did and with whom he did and how it shaped his work ethic and his own approach to showing up

Mark shares hi story about his son coming out of addiction, blossoming and the notion of him being a role model.  The importance of modeling in mentorship

Jim gets clear on how important it is to have an agent. Everybody needs one to see things they can’t

Jim reflects on when he and Mark first met to map the IMC plan out. He mentions

The guys reflect o a program they both participated in over the weekend and the phrase “don’t die with your music inside you” and how we have an obligation to share what we know

The guys are building a program and it isn’t quite done yet, but it will definitely be some wisdom shared for a price

Our service will be essentially customizing our experience and wisdom to help men lead better lives