Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineMark starts off setting the stage for his most recent ex-wife encounter. Both guys see numerous lessons to be learned from Mark’s encounter the other day and decided to record their conversation as an episode
Mark sets the stage for the discussion by giving the event some historical context
He describes his emotional state and gives a few details of the actual event - sitting in front of a judge
Jim makes a great point - one of the reasons w decided to air this is that 50% of our audience will have to deal with divorce in some capacity - we thought it might be very helpful
Jim starts by going around the wheel and this event touches all 5 areas and the center (self)
Mark adds a timeline and additional historical context to the core event - his divorce
Jim brings up narcissism and they discuss that component of Mark’s ex
Mark says you can’t change people. He talks about her unwillingness to look inside
He also makes the point that you have to rid yourself of people who suck energy from you and how challenging that can be
Jim thinks we can’t change much except how we react to things
They both bring our current political situation into the discussion because it’s directly related
Mark reflects on good and bad energy and the physical manifestation of this stress
Jim takes Mark around the wheel
Money - how she used money as a weapon
Mark shares details of what she did to his career and a story about theft
Mark shares some details about his children and their struggle with anxiety. We work on it together
Worldview is next. Mark talks about his connection with God and his religious journey
Jim brings up Mark’s relationship with his mom, which he’s shared before
Jim says we are “conditioned” when we’re young. Mark shares his thoughts on his mom and the comparison to his ex.
Mark shares a story about his ex and her inability to accept responsibility for anything. If you agreed with me you immediately became her enemy
Jim asks how much was “attention”
Mark suggests the marriage fell apart because of her inability to accept responsibility or communicate
Mark brings up his ex’s childhood - very bad
Jim brings up a woman’s relationship with her own father
Mark compares his ex and his current love regarding their relationships with their fathers
Mark talks about self accountability and owning your life
Jim brings back politics and society as it relates to Mark’s ex
Jim brings our current president into the discussion.
Mark says he’s not in charge. He’s not sure if Biden knows what’s going on
Jim asks what audacity and is she just that
Mark shares his opinion on how good marriages get through hard times
They worked on themselves first
Jim shares how he’s worked on himself and how he shares our framework in his daily conversations
Mark shares how he never gave up and how his children helped him
Mark shares his Bill Burr’s “hitting women” joke
Mark starts to wrap up and shares some takeaways
Internal work and modifying his routines with age to keep up the work
You have to get negative people out
Life is good. Everything is a choice
You can’t change people
Jim says gratitude is the key and it takes work
Mark agrees and shares his gratitude exercise
Jim bring up growing bitter or better
Mark ends with his LinkedIn message story (she sent one after) and Jim notes that she was doing all the things she was accusing Mark of