loader from loading.io

Managing Expectations In Relationships

Imperfect Mens Club

Release Date: 08/05/2024

“Do It Anyway” - The Key To Mining Your Own Personal Gold show art “Do It Anyway” - The Key To Mining Your Own Personal Gold

Imperfect Mens Club

Short Description Mark and Jim unpack “self-alchemy”—turning your life’s raw materials (skills, reps, scars, notes, half-finished ideas) into something valuable. They connect it to the IMC wheel (Profession, Relationships, Money, Health/Well-Being, Worldview), talk about aligning work with values, and make the case for creating consistently despite criticism, delays, or imperfect outcomes. AI shows up not as artificial intelligence but as amplified intelligence that helps curate and ship your life’s work. The refrain: Do it anyway. What We Cover Self-Alchemy defined:...

info_outline
Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps show art Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps

Imperfect Mens Club

I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it. What we cover Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval. Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition. Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily...

info_outline
Self Mastery - 12 Principles For A Rich Life show art Self Mastery - 12 Principles For A Rich Life

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the topic of self mastery and self transformation. Jim found 12 rules of self mastery online Discipline Focus Resilience Consistency Solitude Energy Mind Body Legacy Time Surround Untouchable Jim explains how he was attracted to this framework He connects this exercise to self awareness. He shares that our life is “on us”. No one is coming to help. We are responsible for our lives Mark begins by reading the definition of each word. First is discipline. Mark suggests there is no destination. It’s a journey. Jim suggests discipline requires us to do hard things every day....

info_outline
What Life Teaches Us About Self-Discovery - Reflection, Humility, and Belonging show art What Life Teaches Us About Self-Discovery - Reflection, Humility, and Belonging

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the topic of Self discovery  He frames the topic with Carl Jung’s definition of what happens in life when we reach the age of 60 and then shares additional context about the beginning, middle and tail end of life and how we can “rediscover” ourselves many times over the course of our lives Jim views life in 5 and 10 year “stages”. He doesn’t think everyone goes thru self discovery exercises and then he brings the flywheel framework for context. He shares his research for this episode. He appreciates his solitude as an example of his self discovery and how the...

info_outline
Subconscious Self Doubt - The Silent Partner You Never Chose show art Subconscious Self Doubt - The Silent Partner You Never Chose

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the topic of the subconscious mind and the emotion of self doubt. He cites the science that shows we are driven by our subconscious. Somewhere between 85 and 95% of our actions are from subconscious memory Jim shares his opinion about how this topic fits into our wheel. He aligns the discussion to the wheel. He heard a podcast that talked about self doubt and money. He quotes the podcast and agrees with Marks incite into the science of the subconscious. Mark talks about his frame of reference being the people he knows that have varying degrees of emotional balance. Happy people...

info_outline
Why Neurodiverse Minds Crave Why Neurodiverse Minds Crave "Frameworks"

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark brings up the topic of frameworks and mentions Jim’s recent adoption of hi “5M Framework” Manifesto Methodology Mentality Machine Mindset Jim found a manifesto that Mark had written 2 years ago while preparing to do some promotion of the podcast and he ties that in to the IMC framework. Our 5 areas of life flywheel Jim shares that the actual topic came from my being 1 minute late (I’m never late). Jim then goes over our flywheel of life framework and the 5 areas. He reflects on where he was in life when we first met. He was out of sorts and seeking answers. Then he talks about his...

info_outline
What Advice Would You Give Your 15 Year Old Self? show art What Advice Would You Give Your 15 Year Old Self?

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the topic of Jim’s interaction with his young niece at 15 asking him what he might do differently looking back at his 15 year old self Both guys thought it was cool for such a young person to ask such a wise question Mark reads the response that Jim sent in a text message to his niece Jim reflects on his response and how context and circumstance are so important. Mark agrees and cites the difference between good and bad advice. He iterates on the value of what you don’t do versus what you should do. Jim feels that what you should not do is more important than what you...

info_outline
Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage? show art Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the topic of one’s self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it’s important to know what you can and can’t control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self’s in the center. Jim says he’s been more aware of the self narratives of other people he’s encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he’s being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we’ve made...

info_outline
Your Inner Critic - Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself show art Your Inner Critic - Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the deep dive Jim took into the writing of Carl Jung and the specific topic he writes about - self talk Mark thinks most us have more negative self talk than positive Jim adds context - Jim likes stuff related to our podcast and our wheel. Particularly the self. He goes around our flywheel. When you’re challenging yourself, self talk can creep in Mark says this voice is powerful and not always positive. It’s also often subconscious. Mark reads the definition Mark reads Jung’s 5 archetypes The Good Student The Silent Healer The Starving Artist The Invisible One The Over...

info_outline
Navigating Our Response To Trauma With Grace show art Navigating Our Response To Trauma With Grace

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the topic of trauma and how we respond to trauma This topic came up from some family events and aging and how people respond to trauma Jim brings a framework to the discussion…The 5 “F’s” Jim fits trauma into our flywheel framework. He breaks down the 5 areas and we decide to focus on relationships and The Self We can’t seem to discuss anything without coming back to self awareness Jim got this framework from a podcast he listened to about trauma. The 5 F’s of trauma response are Fight Freeze Fawn Flop Flight Jim thinks most people opt for flight. They run Mark says...

info_outline
 
More Episodes

Mark introduces the topic of expectations. Setting and managing them with others

We succeed and we fail doing both

He says we do a poor job of being specific and clear and recalibrating as things evolve

Jim says ww are “wound up” in the existing political environment. We expect the politicians to be civil and honest…and they’re not. They throw rocks at each other

Mark identifies that he and Jim have taken different position. Jim chooses to remain quiet and Mark chooses to speak up. He cites the difference between thinking, knowing and emoting. We are treating them as the same

Jim takes us around the wheel and our 5 areas of life and how different women and men are regarding expectations

Mark talks about his relationships with his grandmothers and how different they were. Then he talks about his mom and sister

Then he talks about his kids

Jim shares that everyone struggles with expectations. We project things from our relationships on to others. He also thinks we have set expectations about women that they can “have it all”. It’s not possible

Mark says when you choose one thing you sacrifice another. No one can “have everything”. It’s an unreal expectation

Mark talks about his daughters and his mom again. His mom lived with regret and his girls struggle with confusion…what is a man?  What is the expectation?

He brings up JD Vance and his cat lady comment. He asks what is wrong with being a stay at home mom?  We need to change our expectations about being a mom

Jim brings up Esther Perel and her writings about relationships. She says our expectations about relationships are incorrect

Mark talks about having different expectations inside a marriage

Jim says where we are now in marriages has evolved away from the way it used to be. Married to one person and in a romantic relationship with another. Marriage was a contract

Mark says expectations change and we have to change behavior. He shares some info on his marriage/divorce. He talks about his ex wife’s father and her expectations of him based on her father’s behavior

Mark says things broke down when communication stopped

Jim asks Mark about his current relationship with his girlfriend

They talk about men and women and their differences. In a relationship what matters is what those two people think about. Most people don’t take the time to air out their differences before marriage and exchange/agree to the compromises