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Managing Expectations In Relationships

Imperfect Mens Club

Release Date: 08/05/2024

Rewiring Self-Belief: What Neuroscience Says About Limiting Beliefs show art Rewiring Self-Belief: What Neuroscience Says About Limiting Beliefs

Imperfect Mens Club

Overview In this episode, Mark and Jim dive into the neuroscience of limiting beliefs and how these old, deeply embedded mental patterns quietly steer a man’s confidence, ambition, and ability to grow. Through stories, personal revelations, and decades of lived experience, they break down why these beliefs form, why they stick, and how men can finally start replacing them with something far more empowering. This one sits right at the center of the Imperfect Men’s Club flywheel: the intersection of mental health, worldview, relationships, profession, and money. Key Themes 1. The Five...

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Self Discipline - A Stoic View of Imperfection show art Self Discipline - A Stoic View of Imperfection

Imperfect Mens Club

  Episode 43: Self Discipline. A Stoic View of Imperfection Summary In this episode, Mark and Jim explore self-discipline through the lens of Stoic philosophy. They unpack five timeless rules that still hold up in a world full of distractions, dopamine hits, and excuses. The conversation spans modern habits, mental toughness, guilt, accountability, voluntary discomfort, and the deeper connection between self-awareness, self-trust, and real personal growth. The core message: self-discipline isn’t perfection. It’s the small, unglamorous, repeatable reps you keep showing up for. What We...

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Self-Projection, Narcissism & Radical Accountability show art Self-Projection, Narcissism & Radical Accountability

Imperfect Mens Club

Short Episode Description In this episode, Mark and Jim unpack self-projection: how it shows up consciously and unconsciously, how it damages relationships, and what radical accountability actually looks like in real life. They explore narcissistic patterns, the difference between healthy self-presentation and fake personas, and why the simple act of pausing might be one of the most powerful tools you have. Along the way, Mark shares hard-won lessons from a deeply toxic relationship and how he rebuilt his emotional maturity in the years that followed. Episode Summary Mark and Jim start from...

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Why 2025 Could Be the Most Consequential Year of Our Lifetime show art Why 2025 Could Be the Most Consequential Year of Our Lifetime

Imperfect Mens Club

Episode Overview In this episode, Mark and Jim zoom out to the worldview arena of the Imperfect Men’s Club framework and connect four generations, American innovation, AI, capitalism, and historical cycles into one big through-line. The jumping-off point is Jim’s recent trip with his 85-year-old mom to meet his new granddaughter. That experience, paired with a talk he watched about 2025 being a “tipping point year,” sparked a conversation about why history really does repeat itself in 25- and 80-year patterns, how America’s unique mix of freedom and capitalism unlocks innovation, and...

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"I'm Not Good Enough" The Origins And Impact Of Self Limiting Beliefs

Imperfect Mens Club

Episode Summary Mark and Jim dive into the belief that quietly caps potential: “I’m not good enough.” They trace where it starts (childhood messages, school systems, fear, past misses) and how it shows up in adult life: promotions we never ask for, relationships we avoid, work we don’t share, skills we won’t try. Along the way: stories from recruiting, entrepreneurship, parenting after divorce, and reframing regret as proof you care. The Conversation Explores What a self-limiting belief system is Thoughts that feel like facts, internalized from fear, old messages, or past...

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Introspection Without the Spiral: 5 Moves to Get Unstuck show art Introspection Without the Spiral: 5 Moves to Get Unstuck

Imperfect Mens Club

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Reframing The Differences Between Men And Women show art Reframing The Differences Between Men And Women

Imperfect Mens Club

Summary Mark and Jim dive into the “relationships” spoke of the wheel, using a simple moment in a tire shop to unpack a bigger idea: reframing. From there they explore the difference between loving and longing, how past relationships shape current ones, what men and women tend to seek at different life stages, and why self-awareness is the only way any of this works. Mark shares hard-won perspective as a single dad of two daughters and a son; Jim brings a long-married vantage point and a field report from that fish-tank-by-the-waiting-room conversation. The conversation explores...

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Self-Discipline, Routines, and the Quiet Power of Consistency show art Self-Discipline, Routines, and the Quiet Power of Consistency

Imperfect Mens Club

Summary Mark and Jim dig into self-discipline as a daily practice, not a personality trait. They walk through their real-world morning and evening routines, how gratitude and breathwork change your state, why partnerships create accountability, and how three tightly chosen priorities per day compound into a better year. Practical, free, and doable. The conversation explores: What self-discipline actually is: controlling impulses and short-term urges to align with long-term values and intentions, built through practice and simple systems. Morning routines that stick: hydration, oil pulling,...

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Are You A Leader Or Simply In A Position Of Authority? show art Are You A Leader Or Simply In A Position Of Authority?

Imperfect Mens Club

Quick Summary Mark and Jim unpack leadership through the lens of “seasons.” Drawing on John Maxwell’s idea that everyone has a book inside them, they explore how winter, spring, summer, and fall map to personal growth, responsibility, and impact. They also get candid about humility, credibility, and why leadership is more than holding a title—it’s taking responsibility for the well-being of other people. The conversation explores Leadership ≠ Title: The difference between positions of authority and true leadership that models behavior, brings clarity, and takes responsibility for...

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Civil Discourse In A Divided World show art Civil Discourse In A Divided World

Imperfect Mens Club

In this episode of the Imperfect Men’s Club Podcast, Mark Aylward and Jim Gurulé dive into the lost art of civil discourse—why it matters, how we’ve strayed from it, and what it takes to bring it back into everyday life. The conversation explores: Why civil discourse is more than politeness Civil discourse goes beyond surface-level politeness or avoiding conflict. It’s about creating space for real dialogue that expands knowledge, challenges assumptions, and strengthens community. Mark and Jim unpack why this practice is critical for healthy democracies, strong relationships,...

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More Episodes

Mark introduces the topic of expectations. Setting and managing them with others

We succeed and we fail doing both

He says we do a poor job of being specific and clear and recalibrating as things evolve

Jim says ww are “wound up” in the existing political environment. We expect the politicians to be civil and honest…and they’re not. They throw rocks at each other

Mark identifies that he and Jim have taken different position. Jim chooses to remain quiet and Mark chooses to speak up. He cites the difference between thinking, knowing and emoting. We are treating them as the same

Jim takes us around the wheel and our 5 areas of life and how different women and men are regarding expectations

Mark talks about his relationships with his grandmothers and how different they were. Then he talks about his mom and sister

Then he talks about his kids

Jim shares that everyone struggles with expectations. We project things from our relationships on to others. He also thinks we have set expectations about women that they can “have it all”. It’s not possible

Mark says when you choose one thing you sacrifice another. No one can “have everything”. It’s an unreal expectation

Mark talks about his daughters and his mom again. His mom lived with regret and his girls struggle with confusion…what is a man?  What is the expectation?

He brings up JD Vance and his cat lady comment. He asks what is wrong with being a stay at home mom?  We need to change our expectations about being a mom

Jim brings up Esther Perel and her writings about relationships. She says our expectations about relationships are incorrect

Mark talks about having different expectations inside a marriage

Jim says where we are now in marriages has evolved away from the way it used to be. Married to one person and in a romantic relationship with another. Marriage was a contract

Mark says expectations change and we have to change behavior. He shares some info on his marriage/divorce. He talks about his ex wife’s father and her expectations of him based on her father’s behavior

Mark says things broke down when communication stopped

Jim asks Mark about his current relationship with his girlfriend

They talk about men and women and their differences. In a relationship what matters is what those two people think about. Most people don’t take the time to air out their differences before marriage and exchange/agree to the compromises