Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
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Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of communication and within that general topic, the subtopic of persuasion. He then emphasizes the value of having a framework. He puts our framework in perspective
Jim chimes in about the idea of having a framework and emphasizes the IMC framework
Jim shares his 5 W’s framework and how helpful it has been for him in a variety of projects. How it adds perspective for both parties
He shares the value of effective people being clear
Jim asks Mark about his framework
Mark shares his childhood influences around communication and then his framework
What do you say?
How do you say it?
To whom do you say it?
When do you say it?
Both guys agree they made their frameworks theirs…no matter where it came from
Mark brings up the image Jim shared and begins to share the examples of lazy responses versus helpful responses
The guys dig into examples of how powerful specific words are and how changing a word can change the tone of the whole conversation
Problem versus “opportunity” or “challenge”
All the specific examples from Jim’s image become the conversations
Each example uncovers how simple shifts, different words change the whole tone and emotion of the conversation
Both guys share their experience with each example and how they have both made the mistake of using the lazy language and relearned the helpful response
They both emphasize the importance of not apologizing. Never apologize unless you’ve done real wrong
Mark shares - don’t say, “to be honest with you”. “Frank” or Jim’s option “transparent”
They discuss transparency as a double edged sword
“I’m too busy” means I’m too busy for you
They both have a laugh about “too busy”
“That’s not my” job versus, “let me get you to the right person”
Mark shares his mentor’s story about personal accountability
“I’ll try” versus “I’ll take care of it”. Jim has a different angle on this one
Mark frames it as personal accountability. I won’t dismiss you, we’ll get it taken care of
Apologizing comes up again and both guys reiterate the problem with saying you’re sorry
Jim uses “I own that one”. “That one’s on me”. Take ownership
Mark - “sorry never works for me unless you really fucked something up”
Mark shares some media examples of how apologies become bigger problems
Jim says behaviors are more important than words - Mark agrees
The next example is disagreement - “You’re wrong” versus “I have a different perspective on this than you and I’d like to share it with you”
Jim cites people who actually enjoy conflict to garner attention
“This might sound stupid but…” versus “Let’s try this.” Naysayers are everywhere
Jim agrees as an inventor he always shares new ideas…the value of reframing ideas until consensus is established
Mark brings up Jordan Peterson talking about Elon Musk and comparison (Elon’s roommate story)
Jim - All comparison leads to misery
Jim shares “I have an hypothesis” versus a theory. An hypothesis is designed to be challenged…designed to be criticized
He shares the difference between an hypothesis and a theory
A theory has been proven. An hypothesis has not yet been proven
“No worries”… “I’m happy to help”
Both guys discuss the nuance of this one
Mark feels like “no worries” is kind of a throw away
They conclude that this whole exercise is an exercise in self awareness
The final example is recommending something to someone
‘I think maybe we should” versus “I recommend we do this…”
Jim says “I think” makes him feel like “Why should I listen to you”
Mark finishes with his 4 pronged framework
He confirms that listening and asking questions before speaking is almost always the best strategy
Jim finishes with the value of clarifying assumptions, discussing desired outcomes, “who, not how” and what are the necessary resources?
Mark shares his support of this as authentic…for both parties