Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of self awareness. He shares that their “pregame” discussion was very self reflective. He suggests that the time of year, as well as some other personal events from Jim’s life and Mark’s have the guys a bit mired in self reflection and self awareness
Mark reads a couple of quotes Jim brought to the recording. One secular (Stoic) and one Biblical (Thomas)
Jim shares some context for his quotes and shares his position on self awareness and what’s going on in his life
Jim reflects on yesterday being the 5 year anniversary of his father’s death. He says to really understand yourself, you have to go back in time. Family history and stories. Jim came across some photos of his dad he’d never seen before. Then he reflects a bit on his grandparents (4 grandparents/four quadrants - that shape you)
Jim asks about Mark’s conversation with his dad and comments about “peeling back Jim’s onion”
He talks about piling multiple issues all on top at once and how that makes tough stuff even tougher
Are we getting more “Imperfect” or more self aware
Mark shares his mom and dad’s influence and then describes his memories of his grandfathers…not from memory but from stories
Jim returns to our fathers and specifically his relationship with his father. How he has gained appreciation and gratitude for his dad since his death. Jim also suggests that he’s grown too
Mark gives Jim kudos for being personally accountable with all these things for being responsible for his response to hardship and challenge. Learning from his experiences
Mark shares that his dad also had 10 brothers and sisters too. Both guys are also middle children
Mark shares his self image
Jim shares another saying/quote about virtues and vices
They discuss both. Jim thinks we all strive to be the best versions of ourselves
Mark reflects on being fathers of young adult kids and what fathers face as their kids get older - more people more problems How to navigate these additional relationships. They joke about the meaning of love and different types of love
Intimacy, jealousy, all the emotions
Mark says it’s also a function of the time of year
Jim shares his experience going through the photos of his dad. He got them touched up - colorized and they came to life. He reflects about how his father tried to discuss these things with Jim when he was younger
Mark brings up his mom’s suicide and how his feelings have evolved as time has gone by. For his kids too
Mark says self awareness enables us to address and feel these things
Jim asks Mark to speak more about his mom. Mark talks about his younger brother and how he feels like he inherited his troubles from his mother
Mark goes deep on his mom’s suicide story. How he went from anger to sadness to forgiveness and empathy/love
Mark is grateful for her now. He sees her asa troubled soul
Jim says we’re all troubled souls
Mark thinks there are two types of people. Melancholy and not melancholy
Jim asks about Mark’s father. Mark says his dad was the exact opposite. He shares his parents divorce and some of the details
Jim asks more about Mark’s mom. Did he recognize his mom’s condition when he was young
Mark oversimplifies the impact his parents had on his 3 siblings and himself. He shares some suicide and addiction reflections
Jim begins to wrap up and Mark adds a takeaway
We are all going through stuff. We’re not alone
Mark loves the 4 quadrant approach of your 4 grandparents
Jim reflects on how this episode relates to our flywheel
Relationships and worldview
As our family members get older…more episode material:)