Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineEpisode 3 Bygone Era
Mark introduces the topic for this episode. The notion of there being a bygone era. Jim suggested the topic given the current political landscape and the guys explore other applications of the notion in life
Mark reads the Google definition
Jim comes in and suggests that we have entered a new era. He brings of his 5 W framework and the concept of self awareness (Who,what,when,where and why)
Jim cites The Biden administration and his cronies being part of this “bygone era”
He claims everyone wants to remain relevant
Mark recalls his start in recruiting and how technology and communication has evolved since then. How important self awareness is to stay current
Jim brings up sports - coaches are aging out. Specifically Andy Reid of the Chiefs and Bill Belichick as examples
JIm reflects on Joe Biden’s legacy is sad
Mark mentions his brother’s retirement and says Biden is retiring. Jim says no…he got fired
We’re all gonna retire someday. Jim says at some point it’s time to pull back. He reminds us of how our adult children keep us honest and current
Mark reflects on his appreciation for Jim’s candor in disagreeing with him
The value of hanging out with people who are kind, not nice. Jim agrees and shares his opinion as to why this is
Jim’s quote - “You can’t kill a thought. It has to die of old age or natural causes”
He cites the military as an example and then brings up all the “thoughts” that have recently died of natural causes DEI, etc…
Mark reminds us of Vince Lombardi type coaching as well as old leadership styles involving giving orders
Jim shares his personal coaching experiences with WWII trained coaches. Football and the military. Then he shares how he’s seen the new coaching style emerged starting with Bill Walsh. His approach was more intellectual
Mark brings up the current concussion protocol and how it used to be getting your bell rung and smelling salts
Jim talks about rising to the top and how that exposes you to criticism. Some people can handle this and most can’t. Biden couldn’t
Mark shares his daughter’s experience reaching the top of her profession and the pressure. The price you pay for being on top
What chapters have closed? It’s time to move on and many won’t want to. They’ll cling to the bygone era as if it’s not yet bygone
Jim brings up Hollywood as an example of a group who won’t likely move on
Mark clarifies that just because you’re good at one thing doesn’t meant mean you are good at anything else. Jim and Mark reflect on Hollywood in the 40’s and 50’s versus today. Old stars went to war. Athletes went to war. Today the stars are pampered and can hide from their lack of credibility
The guys get deeper into how things used to be. Patriotism and service…is this a bygone era?
Jim shares his story about the Japanese soldier (Hiro Anoda) who fought for 30 years after the war was over because he couldn’t believe it was over. Are we fighting wars that don’t exist
Mark shares how he fought his divorce battle far past when he should have stopped
“Doesn’t it take two people to fight?” What if you just stopped?
Jim shares a similar story about a good friend of his. “You need to create your own rules. Create a whole new game”
Sometimes we stop being served by our old rules and we need to change
Jim shares another story about his current high school’s football team and how dramatically some rules have changed…the world has changed…it’s a bygone era
Mark ends with his stubborn Starbucks policy story:)