Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps
Imperfect Mens Club
I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it. What we cover Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval. Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition. Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily...
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Self Mastery - 12 Principles For A Rich Life
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self mastery and self transformation. Jim found 12 rules of self mastery online Discipline Focus Resilience Consistency Solitude Energy Mind Body Legacy Time Surround Untouchable Jim explains how he was attracted to this framework He connects this exercise to self awareness. He shares that our life is “on us”. No one is coming to help. We are responsible for our lives Mark begins by reading the definition of each word. First is discipline. Mark suggests there is no destination. It’s a journey. Jim suggests discipline requires us to do hard things every day....
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What Life Teaches Us About Self-Discovery - Reflection, Humility, and Belonging
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Self discovery He frames the topic with Carl Jung’s definition of what happens in life when we reach the age of 60 and then shares additional context about the beginning, middle and tail end of life and how we can “rediscover” ourselves many times over the course of our lives Jim views life in 5 and 10 year “stages”. He doesn’t think everyone goes thru self discovery exercises and then he brings the flywheel framework for context. He shares his research for this episode. He appreciates his solitude as an example of his self discovery and how the...
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Subconscious Self Doubt - The Silent Partner You Never Chose
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the subconscious mind and the emotion of self doubt. He cites the science that shows we are driven by our subconscious. Somewhere between 85 and 95% of our actions are from subconscious memory Jim shares his opinion about how this topic fits into our wheel. He aligns the discussion to the wheel. He heard a podcast that talked about self doubt and money. He quotes the podcast and agrees with Marks incite into the science of the subconscious. Mark talks about his frame of reference being the people he knows that have varying degrees of emotional balance. Happy people...
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Why Neurodiverse Minds Crave "Frameworks"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of frameworks and mentions Jim’s recent adoption of hi “5M Framework” Manifesto Methodology Mentality Machine Mindset Jim found a manifesto that Mark had written 2 years ago while preparing to do some promotion of the podcast and he ties that in to the IMC framework. Our 5 areas of life flywheel Jim shares that the actual topic came from my being 1 minute late (I’m never late). Jim then goes over our flywheel of life framework and the 5 areas. He reflects on where he was in life when we first met. He was out of sorts and seeking answers. Then he talks about his...
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What Advice Would You Give Your 15 Year Old Self?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Jim’s interaction with his young niece at 15 asking him what he might do differently looking back at his 15 year old self Both guys thought it was cool for such a young person to ask such a wise question Mark reads the response that Jim sent in a text message to his niece Jim reflects on his response and how context and circumstance are so important. Mark agrees and cites the difference between good and bad advice. He iterates on the value of what you don’t do versus what you should do. Jim feels that what you should not do is more important than what you...
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Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of one’s self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it’s important to know what you can and can’t control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self’s in the center. Jim says he’s been more aware of the self narratives of other people he’s encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he’s being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we’ve made...
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Your Inner Critic - Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the deep dive Jim took into the writing of Carl Jung and the specific topic he writes about - self talk Mark thinks most us have more negative self talk than positive Jim adds context - Jim likes stuff related to our podcast and our wheel. Particularly the self. He goes around our flywheel. When you’re challenging yourself, self talk can creep in Mark says this voice is powerful and not always positive. It’s also often subconscious. Mark reads the definition Mark reads Jung’s 5 archetypes The Good Student The Silent Healer The Starving Artist The Invisible One The Over...
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Navigating Our Response To Trauma With Grace
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of trauma and how we respond to trauma This topic came up from some family events and aging and how people respond to trauma Jim brings a framework to the discussion…The 5 “F’s” Jim fits trauma into our flywheel framework. He breaks down the 5 areas and we decide to focus on relationships and The Self We can’t seem to discuss anything without coming back to self awareness Jim got this framework from a podcast he listened to about trauma. The 5 F’s of trauma response are Fight Freeze Fawn Flop Flight Jim thinks most people opt for flight. They run Mark says...
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Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
info_outlineJim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person
Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways
He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry
Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture
Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them
Our experience leaves us with knowledge and wisdom that come from that unique experience
Mark brings up his faith. “God, help me out. What do you want me to be doing again?”
Jim brings up his summary doc (which he creates for each episode) on which mentions God’s greater design
Are you going to die with your art in you or are you committed to putting it out in the world
What have you overcome and how can you share that to help others
Mark talks about obstacles and how we all find ourselves in a particular seat at a particular time for some reason
Mark shares his journey into the recruiting world and how he evolved into an expert in that specific space - career development
Jim shares how important he thinks Mark’s work is
Mark says it’s top 5 for people. He takes that responsibility very seriously
Mark shares his story about helping his friend with confidence
Jim says confidence is everything and it’s hard to maintain over the course of a lifetime
Mark mentions his divorce in the context of confidence and how he lost it and the trip to get it back. Validation from the outside
Jim “You are most able to help the person you once were”
He talks about resistance - fear is self centered
Why wouldn’t you share? Because you’re scared
Mark shares a few stories about helping a few people overcome their fears
Enough confidence to overcome his fear - to take action
Mark shares how fear is now a trigger for him to keep going. It doesn’t stop him, it encourages him
Jim talks about the value of solving one specific problem. What is it and why is it a problem
Mark says do we help them rid themselves of the fear or do we simply help them push past it
Jim reads a few more quotes. Solutions versus problems
Mark asks, “if my deliverable is confidence, what does that look like?”
Messaging in a noisy world
What specific problem are we solving?
You have to frame the problem well. Specifically and powerfully
Without the problem…what does life look like…specifically. Pain and pleasure
Mark shares his opinion of the SNL auditions he watched during the 50th anniversary celebration - vulnerability, fear, risk…with everything on the line
Jim talks about the value of a third party testimonial/referral/recommendation
Mark laughs about the irony for me teaching about this and yet having a hard time doing it himself
JIm’s three “E’s”
Educate, Entertain and Encourage
Mark says he’s going to steal the 3 E’s
Mark’s tip from a coach “tell them something they’ve never heard before that they know to be true”
Jim - “Enter the conversation they’re already having with themselves”
Mark shares some takeaways - specifically about asking for help
Mark commits to delivering confidence
Jims speaks about being known and being clear
Mark agrees that most people are unclear
Mark wraps up with how happy he was to help Jim
“Stick your neck out there man”