Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineJim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person
Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways
He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry
Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture
Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them
Our experience leaves us with knowledge and wisdom that come from that unique experience
Mark brings up his faith. “God, help me out. What do you want me to be doing again?”
Jim brings up his summary doc (which he creates for each episode) on which mentions God’s greater design
Are you going to die with your art in you or are you committed to putting it out in the world
What have you overcome and how can you share that to help others
Mark talks about obstacles and how we all find ourselves in a particular seat at a particular time for some reason
Mark shares his journey into the recruiting world and how he evolved into an expert in that specific space - career development
Jim shares how important he thinks Mark’s work is
Mark says it’s top 5 for people. He takes that responsibility very seriously
Mark shares his story about helping his friend with confidence
Jim says confidence is everything and it’s hard to maintain over the course of a lifetime
Mark mentions his divorce in the context of confidence and how he lost it and the trip to get it back. Validation from the outside
Jim “You are most able to help the person you once were”
He talks about resistance - fear is self centered
Why wouldn’t you share? Because you’re scared
Mark shares a few stories about helping a few people overcome their fears
Enough confidence to overcome his fear - to take action
Mark shares how fear is now a trigger for him to keep going. It doesn’t stop him, it encourages him
Jim talks about the value of solving one specific problem. What is it and why is it a problem
Mark says do we help them rid themselves of the fear or do we simply help them push past it
Jim reads a few more quotes. Solutions versus problems
Mark asks, “if my deliverable is confidence, what does that look like?”
Messaging in a noisy world
What specific problem are we solving?
You have to frame the problem well. Specifically and powerfully
Without the problem…what does life look like…specifically. Pain and pleasure
Mark shares his opinion of the SNL auditions he watched during the 50th anniversary celebration - vulnerability, fear, risk…with everything on the line
Jim talks about the value of a third party testimonial/referral/recommendation
Mark laughs about the irony for me teaching about this and yet having a hard time doing it himself
JIm’s three “E’s”
Educate, Entertain and Encourage
Mark says he’s going to steal the 3 E’s
Mark’s tip from a coach “tell them something they’ve never heard before that they know to be true”
Jim - “Enter the conversation they’re already having with themselves”
Mark shares some takeaways - specifically about asking for help
Mark commits to delivering confidence
Jims speaks about being known and being clear
Mark agrees that most people are unclear
Mark wraps up with how happy he was to help Jim
“Stick your neck out there man”