How Sensitivity And Unconscious Bias Shape Us As Men
Imperfect Mens Club
We just started talking. No Intro! Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity Mark brings up the Catholic Church Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress He say...
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The Power of Agency: How Writing a Book Can Build Trust and Elevate Your Brand
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of agency. Jim thinks Mark is a great example of what an agent is He reads a definition and adds some context to what an agent is and how he may, in fact, be one The value of having an objective third party negotiating on your behalf Jim thinks AI will make being an agent much more valuable He discusses the agents he uses. His patent agent, for example. Agents are not as close as we are to our capabilities and competencies Agents can be particularly helpful negotiating your price. What you’re worth He talks about his most recent projects to operate as an agent Jim...
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Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude” He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life” “When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one” Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally...
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Unconditional Service: Navigating the Complexities of Helping Others
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of serving others and connects it to the flywheel of life in the category of relationships/others. Jim brings up the wheel and discusses each of the 5 areas - Money, worldview, relationships, health and career/profession This episode is about others. Men and women He says there are two types of service and then shares his recent event KBIS in Las Vegas. He was selected as #1 membership chair in the country Two types of service are paid and unpaid He talks about the unpaid type - how different it is to serve for pay and to serve simply to serve “Unconditional”...
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How Are You Serving Others? What Does That Look Like?
Imperfect Mens Club
Jim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them Our experience leaves us with knowledge and...
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Growth Is On The Other Side Of Resistance
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and both guys have personal accounts of dealing with making themselves vulnerable Jim thinks that most of us don’t put ourselves out there Jim brings in our flywheel and the 5 areas of life and then uses his 5 W’s approach (Why, who, when, where and what) Mark reads the definition of self-vulnerability that Jim provides from his online searches about the topic Jim says acknowledging your strengths is easy, but sharing your weaknesses is much harder Jim shares his fear he experienced getting ready for a recent webinar presentation. He wonders why he put himself out...
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Mentorship and Volunteer Work - Just A Nudge
Imperfect Mens Club
Today Jim and I welcome a special guest. Paul Carroll was my mentor in the start-up staffing space at the beginning of my career and he joins us today to talk about his latest work volunteering with young men in the foster care system We started recording before my introduction:). It sounded good so we decided to keep rolling. Sorry for any confusion Pauls shares his sense of urgency and the “signs” that showed up for him that got him interested in this work initially He shares how the work went from theoretical to practical Jim asks Paul if this is similar to the problem/solution approach...
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Have We Just Left A "Bygone Era"?
Imperfect Mens Club
Episode 3 Bygone Era Mark introduces the topic for this episode. The notion of there being a bygone era. Jim suggested the topic given the current political landscape and the guys explore other applications of the notion in life Mark reads the Google definition Jim comes in and suggests that we have entered a new era. He brings of his 5 W framework and the concept of self awareness (Who,what,when,where and why) Jim cites The Biden administration and his cronies being part of this “bygone era” He claims everyone wants to remain relevant Mark recalls his start in recruiting and how...
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Where Our Belief Systems Come From
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the episode about belief systems in the context of the fires in Southern California Remember…Jim is a California native still living in the Bay Area and Mark has lived in Florida since 1990 Two very different perspectives and responses to natural disasters! Jim says it’s personal because he has friends and family in the fire zone He brings in our tag line and framework. He says we’ll try and find some good in all of it. He cites our 5 areas with focus on worldview Jim share some of his preparation for the episode. He asks Mark to read the definition of “belief...
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The Post Election Paradigm Shift
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces Episode 1 of Season 4 with the topic of a paradigm shift. A shift in the way the country is moving with the election of Donald Trump and the push back against “woke” Jim introduces the wheel and worldview as a likely connection to the topic. He believes the shift is well on it’s way and we can see and hear evidence of it as more people open up post election Jim has some examples and topics he wants to discuss The first one is COVID What did covid change - communication Second is BLM/DEI. Neither were sustainable Third is The 2024 election 4th is Artificial Intelligence...
info_outlineWe just started talking. No Intro!
Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well
He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior
Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality
Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity
Mark brings up the Catholic Church
Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper
So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress
He say we’re all judgmental and that it’s also part of human nature
He brings up toxic bosses and personal accountability
Jim brings up unconscious bias and the evolution of the podcast from a point of self awareness
Jim shares his recent experience at a “Green build” event
How did we all become “activists”?
Mark says he thinks it comes from a need to belong and how human nature produces this need to belong to something
Jim brings back up agency and specifically writing a book. He thinks all men have a story/book in them. Jim thinks this “contribution” need is also part of our nature
Jim thinks it’s more a male than female need
Mark thinks this is an interesting conversation
Jim thinks men do things “in silence” and he ties that into one of the purposes of the Imperfect Mens Club
Mark reflects on his own sensitivity. The disadvantages and the advantages. Jim looks for clarity about his sensitivity and Mark shares how his sensitivity has been a double edged sword
Jim identifies what he thinks is the important part of being sensitive. It’s good, unless it keeps you from being functional
Sensitivity and weakness are NOT the same
Jim shares a story - about conversation with a woman, “don’t take it so personal”…”I take everything personal”
Jim challenged her and she got a bit defensive and awkward
Jim says he thinks we get softer as we age and Mark suggests some people do and some don’t
You get bitter or you get better
Mark loves the topic of sensitivity
Jim says to be good at something you have to be sensitive to feedback
Jim quotes about being respected versus liked
Mark shares his experience seeing a quote from Al Capone about weakness
Mark goes back to Jim’s point about being functional. Weakness is a problem when it keeps you from functioning
Jim calls this “hypersensitivity”
Mark shares his perspective on the different “stages” or “chapters” in his life and how he needed to adjust as life evolved
He moved around a bit confused about his sensitivity
Mark observes how he’s seen Jim evolve too
“A good human is going to evolve”
The other choice is misery. Bitter and better
Jim. “We are all actors in the theater of life”
Jim agrees - different roles at different stages
Mark shifts to his recent “Out of body experience with a sound healing session”
Both guys appreciate the topic and share their respective opinions about it
Mark had 4 out of body experiences at 4 different ages of his life. He likens it to dreaming
Mark was inclined to share his experience with certain friends, including Jim
Mark talks about how this kind of event can be really great…or much less so
Jim talks about Steve Job’s experience with meditative reflection and success
Mark talks about his different reflections on different protocols of self reflection, like his breath work. He reflects on the time he went looking for a church and a yoga studio and the importance of resonating with instructors
Jim shares more quotes
Fast - alone. Far - go together
“Don’t become addicted to your own struggles”
“Everything is hard. If it’s not hard, you’re not trying hard enough
Mark - “It’s the Cool thing about wisdom”. Anyone can be wise and say wise things in different ways
Mark talks about getting advice from friends. Nice versus kind
Jim cautions about getting advice from friends and family…”some of the worst advice you can get”
Mark agrees but takes a slightly different approach. His father’s opinion about starting his own company