Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
info_outline
Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
info_outline
Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
info_outline
Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
info_outline
90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
info_outline
The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
info_outline
How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
info_outline
Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
info_outline
Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
info_outline
Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineWe just started talking. No Intro!
Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well
He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior
Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality
Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity
Mark brings up the Catholic Church
Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper
So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress
He say we’re all judgmental and that it’s also part of human nature
He brings up toxic bosses and personal accountability
Jim brings up unconscious bias and the evolution of the podcast from a point of self awareness
Jim shares his recent experience at a “Green build” event
How did we all become “activists”?
Mark says he thinks it comes from a need to belong and how human nature produces this need to belong to something
Jim brings back up agency and specifically writing a book. He thinks all men have a story/book in them. Jim thinks this “contribution” need is also part of our nature
Jim thinks it’s more a male than female need
Mark thinks this is an interesting conversation
Jim thinks men do things “in silence” and he ties that into one of the purposes of the Imperfect Mens Club
Mark reflects on his own sensitivity. The disadvantages and the advantages. Jim looks for clarity about his sensitivity and Mark shares how his sensitivity has been a double edged sword
Jim identifies what he thinks is the important part of being sensitive. It’s good, unless it keeps you from being functional
Sensitivity and weakness are NOT the same
Jim shares a story - about conversation with a woman, “don’t take it so personal”…”I take everything personal”
Jim challenged her and she got a bit defensive and awkward
Jim says he thinks we get softer as we age and Mark suggests some people do and some don’t
You get bitter or you get better
Mark loves the topic of sensitivity
Jim says to be good at something you have to be sensitive to feedback
Jim quotes about being respected versus liked
Mark shares his experience seeing a quote from Al Capone about weakness
Mark goes back to Jim’s point about being functional. Weakness is a problem when it keeps you from functioning
Jim calls this “hypersensitivity”
Mark shares his perspective on the different “stages” or “chapters” in his life and how he needed to adjust as life evolved
He moved around a bit confused about his sensitivity
Mark observes how he’s seen Jim evolve too
“A good human is going to evolve”
The other choice is misery. Bitter and better
Jim. “We are all actors in the theater of life”
Jim agrees - different roles at different stages
Mark shifts to his recent “Out of body experience with a sound healing session”
Both guys appreciate the topic and share their respective opinions about it
Mark had 4 out of body experiences at 4 different ages of his life. He likens it to dreaming
Mark was inclined to share his experience with certain friends, including Jim
Mark talks about how this kind of event can be really great…or much less so
Jim talks about Steve Job’s experience with meditative reflection and success
Mark talks about his different reflections on different protocols of self reflection, like his breath work. He reflects on the time he went looking for a church and a yoga studio and the importance of resonating with instructors
Jim shares more quotes
Fast - alone. Far - go together
“Don’t become addicted to your own struggles”
“Everything is hard. If it’s not hard, you’re not trying hard enough
Mark - “It’s the Cool thing about wisdom”. Anyone can be wise and say wise things in different ways
Mark talks about getting advice from friends. Nice versus kind
Jim cautions about getting advice from friends and family…”some of the worst advice you can get”
Mark agrees but takes a slightly different approach. His father’s opinion about starting his own company