Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of one’s self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it’s important to know what you can and can’t control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self’s in the center. Jim says he’s been more aware of the self narratives of other people he’s encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he’s being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we’ve made...
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Your Inner Critic - Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the deep dive Jim took into the writing of Carl Jung and the specific topic he writes about - self talk Mark thinks most us have more negative self talk than positive Jim adds context - Jim likes stuff related to our podcast and our wheel. Particularly the self. He goes around our flywheel. When you’re challenging yourself, self talk can creep in Mark says this voice is powerful and not always positive. It’s also often subconscious. Mark reads the definition Mark reads Jung’s 5 archetypes The Good Student The Silent Healer The Starving Artist The Invisible One The Over...
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Navigating Our Response To Trauma With Grace
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of trauma and how we respond to trauma This topic came up from some family events and aging and how people respond to trauma Jim brings a framework to the discussion…The 5 “F’s” Jim fits trauma into our flywheel framework. He breaks down the 5 areas and we decide to focus on relationships and The Self We can’t seem to discuss anything without coming back to self awareness Jim got this framework from a podcast he listened to about trauma. The 5 F’s of trauma response are Fight Freeze Fawn Flop Flight Jim thinks most people opt for flight. They run Mark says...
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Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
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Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
info_outlineWe just started talking. No Intro!
Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well
He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior
Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality
Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity
Mark brings up the Catholic Church
Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper
So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress
He say we’re all judgmental and that it’s also part of human nature
He brings up toxic bosses and personal accountability
Jim brings up unconscious bias and the evolution of the podcast from a point of self awareness
Jim shares his recent experience at a “Green build” event
How did we all become “activists”?
Mark says he thinks it comes from a need to belong and how human nature produces this need to belong to something
Jim brings back up agency and specifically writing a book. He thinks all men have a story/book in them. Jim thinks this “contribution” need is also part of our nature
Jim thinks it’s more a male than female need
Mark thinks this is an interesting conversation
Jim thinks men do things “in silence” and he ties that into one of the purposes of the Imperfect Mens Club
Mark reflects on his own sensitivity. The disadvantages and the advantages. Jim looks for clarity about his sensitivity and Mark shares how his sensitivity has been a double edged sword
Jim identifies what he thinks is the important part of being sensitive. It’s good, unless it keeps you from being functional
Sensitivity and weakness are NOT the same
Jim shares a story - about conversation with a woman, “don’t take it so personal”…”I take everything personal”
Jim challenged her and she got a bit defensive and awkward
Jim says he thinks we get softer as we age and Mark suggests some people do and some don’t
You get bitter or you get better
Mark loves the topic of sensitivity
Jim says to be good at something you have to be sensitive to feedback
Jim quotes about being respected versus liked
Mark shares his experience seeing a quote from Al Capone about weakness
Mark goes back to Jim’s point about being functional. Weakness is a problem when it keeps you from functioning
Jim calls this “hypersensitivity”
Mark shares his perspective on the different “stages” or “chapters” in his life and how he needed to adjust as life evolved
He moved around a bit confused about his sensitivity
Mark observes how he’s seen Jim evolve too
“A good human is going to evolve”
The other choice is misery. Bitter and better
Jim. “We are all actors in the theater of life”
Jim agrees - different roles at different stages
Mark shifts to his recent “Out of body experience with a sound healing session”
Both guys appreciate the topic and share their respective opinions about it
Mark had 4 out of body experiences at 4 different ages of his life. He likens it to dreaming
Mark was inclined to share his experience with certain friends, including Jim
Mark talks about how this kind of event can be really great…or much less so
Jim talks about Steve Job’s experience with meditative reflection and success
Mark talks about his different reflections on different protocols of self reflection, like his breath work. He reflects on the time he went looking for a church and a yoga studio and the importance of resonating with instructors
Jim shares more quotes
Fast - alone. Far - go together
“Don’t become addicted to your own struggles”
“Everything is hard. If it’s not hard, you’re not trying hard enough
Mark - “It’s the Cool thing about wisdom”. Anyone can be wise and say wise things in different ways
Mark talks about getting advice from friends. Nice versus kind
Jim cautions about getting advice from friends and family…”some of the worst advice you can get”
Mark agrees but takes a slightly different approach. His father’s opinion about starting his own company