Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps
Imperfect Mens Club
I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it. What we cover Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval. Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition. Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily...
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Self Mastery - 12 Principles For A Rich Life
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self mastery and self transformation. Jim found 12 rules of self mastery online Discipline Focus Resilience Consistency Solitude Energy Mind Body Legacy Time Surround Untouchable Jim explains how he was attracted to this framework He connects this exercise to self awareness. He shares that our life is “on us”. No one is coming to help. We are responsible for our lives Mark begins by reading the definition of each word. First is discipline. Mark suggests there is no destination. It’s a journey. Jim suggests discipline requires us to do hard things every day....
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What Life Teaches Us About Self-Discovery - Reflection, Humility, and Belonging
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Self discovery He frames the topic with Carl Jung’s definition of what happens in life when we reach the age of 60 and then shares additional context about the beginning, middle and tail end of life and how we can “rediscover” ourselves many times over the course of our lives Jim views life in 5 and 10 year “stages”. He doesn’t think everyone goes thru self discovery exercises and then he brings the flywheel framework for context. He shares his research for this episode. He appreciates his solitude as an example of his self discovery and how the...
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Subconscious Self Doubt - The Silent Partner You Never Chose
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the subconscious mind and the emotion of self doubt. He cites the science that shows we are driven by our subconscious. Somewhere between 85 and 95% of our actions are from subconscious memory Jim shares his opinion about how this topic fits into our wheel. He aligns the discussion to the wheel. He heard a podcast that talked about self doubt and money. He quotes the podcast and agrees with Marks incite into the science of the subconscious. Mark talks about his frame of reference being the people he knows that have varying degrees of emotional balance. Happy people...
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Why Neurodiverse Minds Crave "Frameworks"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of frameworks and mentions Jim’s recent adoption of hi “5M Framework” Manifesto Methodology Mentality Machine Mindset Jim found a manifesto that Mark had written 2 years ago while preparing to do some promotion of the podcast and he ties that in to the IMC framework. Our 5 areas of life flywheel Jim shares that the actual topic came from my being 1 minute late (I’m never late). Jim then goes over our flywheel of life framework and the 5 areas. He reflects on where he was in life when we first met. He was out of sorts and seeking answers. Then he talks about his...
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What Advice Would You Give Your 15 Year Old Self?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Jim’s interaction with his young niece at 15 asking him what he might do differently looking back at his 15 year old self Both guys thought it was cool for such a young person to ask such a wise question Mark reads the response that Jim sent in a text message to his niece Jim reflects on his response and how context and circumstance are so important. Mark agrees and cites the difference between good and bad advice. He iterates on the value of what you don’t do versus what you should do. Jim feels that what you should not do is more important than what you...
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Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of one’s self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it’s important to know what you can and can’t control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self’s in the center. Jim says he’s been more aware of the self narratives of other people he’s encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he’s being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we’ve made...
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Your Inner Critic - Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the deep dive Jim took into the writing of Carl Jung and the specific topic he writes about - self talk Mark thinks most us have more negative self talk than positive Jim adds context - Jim likes stuff related to our podcast and our wheel. Particularly the self. He goes around our flywheel. When you’re challenging yourself, self talk can creep in Mark says this voice is powerful and not always positive. It’s also often subconscious. Mark reads the definition Mark reads Jung’s 5 archetypes The Good Student The Silent Healer The Starving Artist The Invisible One The Over...
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Navigating Our Response To Trauma With Grace
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of trauma and how we respond to trauma This topic came up from some family events and aging and how people respond to trauma Jim brings a framework to the discussion…The 5 “F’s” Jim fits trauma into our flywheel framework. He breaks down the 5 areas and we decide to focus on relationships and The Self We can’t seem to discuss anything without coming back to self awareness Jim got this framework from a podcast he listened to about trauma. The 5 F’s of trauma response are Fight Freeze Fawn Flop Flight Jim thinks most people opt for flight. They run Mark says...
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Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
info_outlineWe just started talking. No Intro!
Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well
He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior
Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality
Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity
Mark brings up the Catholic Church
Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper
So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress
He say we’re all judgmental and that it’s also part of human nature
He brings up toxic bosses and personal accountability
Jim brings up unconscious bias and the evolution of the podcast from a point of self awareness
Jim shares his recent experience at a “Green build” event
How did we all become “activists”?
Mark says he thinks it comes from a need to belong and how human nature produces this need to belong to something
Jim brings back up agency and specifically writing a book. He thinks all men have a story/book in them. Jim thinks this “contribution” need is also part of our nature
Jim thinks it’s more a male than female need
Mark thinks this is an interesting conversation
Jim thinks men do things “in silence” and he ties that into one of the purposes of the Imperfect Mens Club
Mark reflects on his own sensitivity. The disadvantages and the advantages. Jim looks for clarity about his sensitivity and Mark shares how his sensitivity has been a double edged sword
Jim identifies what he thinks is the important part of being sensitive. It’s good, unless it keeps you from being functional
Sensitivity and weakness are NOT the same
Jim shares a story - about conversation with a woman, “don’t take it so personal”…”I take everything personal”
Jim challenged her and she got a bit defensive and awkward
Jim says he thinks we get softer as we age and Mark suggests some people do and some don’t
You get bitter or you get better
Mark loves the topic of sensitivity
Jim says to be good at something you have to be sensitive to feedback
Jim quotes about being respected versus liked
Mark shares his experience seeing a quote from Al Capone about weakness
Mark goes back to Jim’s point about being functional. Weakness is a problem when it keeps you from functioning
Jim calls this “hypersensitivity”
Mark shares his perspective on the different “stages” or “chapters” in his life and how he needed to adjust as life evolved
He moved around a bit confused about his sensitivity
Mark observes how he’s seen Jim evolve too
“A good human is going to evolve”
The other choice is misery. Bitter and better
Jim. “We are all actors in the theater of life”
Jim agrees - different roles at different stages
Mark shifts to his recent “Out of body experience with a sound healing session”
Both guys appreciate the topic and share their respective opinions about it
Mark had 4 out of body experiences at 4 different ages of his life. He likens it to dreaming
Mark was inclined to share his experience with certain friends, including Jim
Mark talks about how this kind of event can be really great…or much less so
Jim talks about Steve Job’s experience with meditative reflection and success
Mark talks about his different reflections on different protocols of self reflection, like his breath work. He reflects on the time he went looking for a church and a yoga studio and the importance of resonating with instructors
Jim shares more quotes
Fast - alone. Far - go together
“Don’t become addicted to your own struggles”
“Everything is hard. If it’s not hard, you’re not trying hard enough
Mark - “It’s the Cool thing about wisdom”. Anyone can be wise and say wise things in different ways
Mark talks about getting advice from friends. Nice versus kind
Jim cautions about getting advice from friends and family…”some of the worst advice you can get”
Mark agrees but takes a slightly different approach. His father’s opinion about starting his own company