Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters
Hey White Women
This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism
Hey White Women
In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day
Hey White Women
Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears
Hey White Women
This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the...
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White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...
info_outlineIn this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the representation of women and people of color in politics, particularly focusing on Kamala Harris. They explore the excitement and hope that Harris's candidacy brings, while also acknowledging the challenges and limitations that come with being a Black woman in a position of power. They emphasize the importance of not expecting one person to represent an entire demographic and the need to address anti-Blackness and white feminism. The conversation also touches on the concept of the glass cliff and the ongoing process of deconstructing white supremacy. In this part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the challenges faced by women and minorities in positions of power. They highlight the need for multiple individuals from a given minority demographic to have a voice and not be pitted against each other. They also discuss the importance of being an accomplice rather than just an ally in the fight against racism. They touch on the power dynamics between white women and black women, the role of white women in dismantling white supremacy, and the need for white men to educate themselves and call out their friends. They also discuss the concept of white women tears and the importance of believing and listening to black women's experiences. They emphasize the need to question and challenge the sense of urgency imposed by white supremacy and coercive control. In this final part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the importance of privacy and the ways in which lack of privacy can be used as a means of breaking people down. They also explore the concept of self-sealing systems and how society has given over its agency to the system itself. They discuss the potential impact of having a Black woman in a position of power, such as Kamala Harris as Vice President, and the need for white women to take responsibility for their own actions and challenge white supremacy. They emphasize the importance of believing people's experiences and not trying to relate or invalidate their perspectives. They also discuss the power of silence and active listening in conversations about race and gender.
Links:
Connect with Rebecca at:
Connect with Daniella at:
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
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UnAMERICAN Videobook
Takeaways
- The representation of women and people of color in politics is important and brings excitement and hope.
- It is crucial to recognize the challenges and limitations that come with being a Black woman in a position of power.
- Expecting one person to represent an entire demographic is unfair and unrealistic.
Addressing anti-Blackness and white feminism is essential in promoting true inclusivity and equality. - The concept of the glass cliff highlights the tendency to put women and minorities in leadership roles during difficult times.
- Deconstructing white supremacy is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection and education. Women and minorities in positions of power often face challenges and are pitted against each other.
- Being an accomplice, rather than just an ally, is important in the fight against racism.
White women have a role in dismantling white supremacy and should educate themselves and call out their friends. - Believing and listening to black women's experiences is crucial.
- Questioning and challenging the sense of urgency imposed by white supremacy is necessary. Lack of privacy can be used as a means of breaking people down and is often a demand in systems that seek to control and enforce power.
- Society has given over its agency to the system itself, resulting in a self-sealing system that perpetuates harmful ideologies and structures.
- Having a Black woman in a position of power, such as Kamala Harris as Vice President, can bring a different perspective and potentially lead to important conversations and changes.
- White women need to take responsibility for their own actions and challenge white supremacy, rather than relying on Black women to educate and inform them.
- Believing people's experiences, particularly when it comes to race and gender, is crucial for fostering understanding and empathy.
- Silence and active listening can create space for deeper connection and learning in conversations about race and gender.
Sound Bites
"Everybody feels like they're being represented now in this election."
"The excitement that it has brought has been incredible."
"We also know how we get treated and how we are spoken to."
"They are not against each other, they are pitted against each other."
"I'm so scared for her, right? Like she is going to, just in the election season alone, she is going to have so much misogynoir thrown at her that it is gonna be painful."
"Stop saying you're an ally. It's not about being an ally. It's about being an accomplice."
"No! That is the widest thing I have ever - Ugh! A creepy hunk to check your underwear!"
"It's so creepy, it's so creepy. That's also how purity culture goes into, you know, pedophilia and sexual harassment."
"Demanding immediate answers, constantly surveilling people, or having purity requirements are means of breaking people down and do not have legitimate reasons."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Representation in the 2020 Election
03:52 The Glass Cliff: Challenges Faced by Women and Minorities in Leadership
08:51 Centering Anti-Blackness and the Role of White Women
13:43 The Significance of Having a Woman in the White House
20:56 From Allies to Accomplices: Dismantling White Supremacy
34:01 Understanding White Supremacy and Allyship
38:58 Challenging Societal Norms and Holding Yourself Accountable
46:40 The Impact of Surveillance and Purity Requirements
01:00:20 The Power of Transformational Leadership and Diverse Perspectives
01:07:12 The Potential Impact of a Woman in the White House
01:14:46 The Intersectionality of Gender and Race
01:19:03 The Importance of Listening and Slowing Down
01:26:40 Fair Compensation for Podcast Production
01:27:20 The Importance of Representation in Various Industries