Episode 40 | Is Whinnie the Pooh A WS Cult?
Hey White Women
In this candid and wide-ranging conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young unpacks how cult dynamics shape everyday life—from the military to motherhood, from corporate jargon to childhood punishments over “scowling at the Word of God.” She and Rebecca dig into the subtle and overt ways white supremacy trains white women into compliance and calls it safety. Daniella also breaks down the coded messages in American media—including her darkly hilarious theory that Winnie the Pooh is a cult. Through stories of her upbringing, military career, and anti-racism work, Daniella helps listeners...
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Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack what happens when white belief in institutional fairness collides with the lived reality of systemic injustice. Daniella reflects on a moment of betrayal in traffic court and how it cracked open her assumptions about justice, privilege, and whiteness. The conversation weaves through topics like the myth of rule-following as protection, the military's blending of cultural vernaculars, and the unique disorientation white women face when systems stop working for them. They also explore how white women’s fear of “doing it wrong”—especially...
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Episode 38 | Growth Is Uncomfortable
Hey White Women
In this powerful conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca unpack how systems—from the military to corporate culture to parenting ideologies—often rely on cult-like tactics to demand obedience, erase individuality, and sell comfort as a virtue. Together, they examine the roles of love bombing, future faking, and authoritarian control in everyday life, and ask what it means to reclaim personal autonomy after indoctrination. We talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission, why “just doing what you're told” is a dangerous lesson to teach children, and how...
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Episode 37 | Are Red-Heads Black?
Hey White Women
In this episode of Hey White Women, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive into the layered and surprising discourse around a viral TikTok trend that claimed “all redheads are Black.” What starts as a joke becomes a powerful lens for unpacking themes of othering, cultural belonging, and the danger of conformity in white-dominant spaces. The hosts explore how redheaded individuals are often dehumanized through humor, hypersexualization, and alienation—even as whiteness shields them from systemic racism. This conversation becomes a springboard into deeper critiques of whiteness,...
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Episode 36 | Growth Before Activism
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca engage in a deep conversation about the complexities of white supremacy, the importance of listening to Black voices, and the need for white women to confront their own roles in social justice movements. They explore hypothetical scenarios regarding protests, the significance of community, and the dangers of ignoring the perspectives of marginalized groups. The discussion emphasizes the necessity of personal growth and genuine engagement in anti-racism work, while also addressing the cyclical nature of blame and the illusion of safety in activism. ...
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Episode 35 | Colors for Community
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of fashion, identity, and race, discussing how personal expression through clothing can challenge societal norms. They delve into the complexities of navigating whiteness in diverse spaces, the cultural disconnect evident in social interactions, and the significance of color as a form of resistance. The discussion also touches on the importance of critiquing whiteness, understanding cult dynamics through the Byte model, and the value of personal narratives in shaping identity. They emphasize the role of community in fostering...
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Episode 34 | Boom Boom Beige
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of platform building, the evolution of ideas, and the impact of cultural narratives on personal identity. They discuss the importance of vulnerability in leadership, the tenets of white supremacy, and the challenges of navigating capitalism and professionalism. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of shared experiences and the need to reopen historical conversations while addressing the dehumanization inherent in capitalist systems. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of capitalism,...
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Episode 33 | Protest or Parade?
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of race, activism, and the impact of online criticism, particularly on black women. They discuss the intersection of political identity and extremism, the role of white women in social movements, and the importance of listening to marginalized voices. The conversation delves into the dynamics of whiteness in society, the power of storytelling, and the journey of self-discovery in the context of anti-racism. Ultimately, they emphasize the need for community support and the role of women in driving social change. In this...
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Episode 32 | "Lickies and Chewies?"
Hey White Women
This conversation delves into the complexities of race, privilege, and activism, particularly focusing on the experiences of black women and the reactions of white women in the context of social justice. The speakers discuss the historical and current realities of systemic oppression, the implications of language, and the importance of listening and learning from marginalized voices. They also explore the nature of groupthink, the illusion of safety, and the responsibilities of individuals in activism. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of group dynamics, the...
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Episode 31 | Defensiveness and White Identity
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of race, identity, and the dynamics of power within societal structures. They discuss the defensiveness often exhibited by white women in conversations about race, the impact of language, and the role of white women in perpetuating systems of oppression. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of acknowledgment, healing, and the responsibility that comes with privilege. They also touch on the significance of community and the need for open, honest discussions about race and identity. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella...
info_outlineIn this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the representation of women and people of color in politics, particularly focusing on Kamala Harris. They explore the excitement and hope that Harris's candidacy brings, while also acknowledging the challenges and limitations that come with being a Black woman in a position of power. They emphasize the importance of not expecting one person to represent an entire demographic and the need to address anti-Blackness and white feminism. The conversation also touches on the concept of the glass cliff and the ongoing process of deconstructing white supremacy. In this part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the challenges faced by women and minorities in positions of power. They highlight the need for multiple individuals from a given minority demographic to have a voice and not be pitted against each other. They also discuss the importance of being an accomplice rather than just an ally in the fight against racism. They touch on the power dynamics between white women and black women, the role of white women in dismantling white supremacy, and the need for white men to educate themselves and call out their friends. They also discuss the concept of white women tears and the importance of believing and listening to black women's experiences. They emphasize the need to question and challenge the sense of urgency imposed by white supremacy and coercive control. In this final part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the importance of privacy and the ways in which lack of privacy can be used as a means of breaking people down. They also explore the concept of self-sealing systems and how society has given over its agency to the system itself. They discuss the potential impact of having a Black woman in a position of power, such as Kamala Harris as Vice President, and the need for white women to take responsibility for their own actions and challenge white supremacy. They emphasize the importance of believing people's experiences and not trying to relate or invalidate their perspectives. They also discuss the power of silence and active listening in conversations about race and gender.
Links:
Connect with Rebecca at:
Connect with Daniella at:
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
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UnAMERICAN Videobook
Takeaways
- The representation of women and people of color in politics is important and brings excitement and hope.
- It is crucial to recognize the challenges and limitations that come with being a Black woman in a position of power.
- Expecting one person to represent an entire demographic is unfair and unrealistic.
Addressing anti-Blackness and white feminism is essential in promoting true inclusivity and equality. - The concept of the glass cliff highlights the tendency to put women and minorities in leadership roles during difficult times.
- Deconstructing white supremacy is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection and education. Women and minorities in positions of power often face challenges and are pitted against each other.
- Being an accomplice, rather than just an ally, is important in the fight against racism.
White women have a role in dismantling white supremacy and should educate themselves and call out their friends. - Believing and listening to black women's experiences is crucial.
- Questioning and challenging the sense of urgency imposed by white supremacy is necessary. Lack of privacy can be used as a means of breaking people down and is often a demand in systems that seek to control and enforce power.
- Society has given over its agency to the system itself, resulting in a self-sealing system that perpetuates harmful ideologies and structures.
- Having a Black woman in a position of power, such as Kamala Harris as Vice President, can bring a different perspective and potentially lead to important conversations and changes.
- White women need to take responsibility for their own actions and challenge white supremacy, rather than relying on Black women to educate and inform them.
- Believing people's experiences, particularly when it comes to race and gender, is crucial for fostering understanding and empathy.
- Silence and active listening can create space for deeper connection and learning in conversations about race and gender.
Sound Bites
"Everybody feels like they're being represented now in this election."
"The excitement that it has brought has been incredible."
"We also know how we get treated and how we are spoken to."
"They are not against each other, they are pitted against each other."
"I'm so scared for her, right? Like she is going to, just in the election season alone, she is going to have so much misogynoir thrown at her that it is gonna be painful."
"Stop saying you're an ally. It's not about being an ally. It's about being an accomplice."
"No! That is the widest thing I have ever - Ugh! A creepy hunk to check your underwear!"
"It's so creepy, it's so creepy. That's also how purity culture goes into, you know, pedophilia and sexual harassment."
"Demanding immediate answers, constantly surveilling people, or having purity requirements are means of breaking people down and do not have legitimate reasons."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Representation in the 2020 Election
03:52 The Glass Cliff: Challenges Faced by Women and Minorities in Leadership
08:51 Centering Anti-Blackness and the Role of White Women
13:43 The Significance of Having a Woman in the White House
20:56 From Allies to Accomplices: Dismantling White Supremacy
34:01 Understanding White Supremacy and Allyship
38:58 Challenging Societal Norms and Holding Yourself Accountable
46:40 The Impact of Surveillance and Purity Requirements
01:00:20 The Power of Transformational Leadership and Diverse Perspectives
01:07:12 The Potential Impact of a Woman in the White House
01:14:46 The Intersectionality of Gender and Race
01:19:03 The Importance of Listening and Slowing Down
01:26:40 Fair Compensation for Podcast Production
01:27:20 The Importance of Representation in Various Industries