Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep48 | Purity Prison
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca dive into themes of creativity, body image, cultural conditioning, and the lingering impacts of cult and purity culture. Daniella shares her journey of transforming clothing and crafts as a form of healing, while Rebecca draws connections between whiteness, consumerism, and self-imposed restrictions on bodies and identities. Together, they unpack how purity culture manifests in practices like “purity balls,” clothing expectations, and even shower habits, connecting these to deeper systems of control rooted in patriarchy, whiteness, and colonization....
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep47 | Main Characters
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella (Knitting Cult Lady) dive into the intersections of social conditioning, cult dynamics, whiteness, and language. The conversation begins with Daniella’s reflections on color, identity, and creativity, connecting personal expression (knitting, design, aesthetics) to larger cultural narratives. Together, they explore how white women are socialized into “Sleeping Beauty” and “main character” frameworks—delusions that foster passivity, entitlement, and distorted views of desirability. From there, they interrogate purity culture and linguistic...
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep46 | Communalism
Hey White Women
In this rich and emotionally resonant conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive deep into the intersections of community, capitalism, creativity, and healing. They explore how authentic relationships—both personal and professional—can serve as a foundation for meaningful work and social change. From profit-sharing models to communal living, from the trauma of systemic abuse to the joy of unexpected gifts, the episode is a tapestry of lived experience, vulnerability, and visionary thinking. The conversation organically weaves through topics like: The difference between...
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | Episode 45 | Paperwork Privilege & More
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella weave between personal stories, cultural critique, and nuanced discussions of race, privilege, and community building. Daniella shares her upcoming RV book tour, the planning quirks of packing crafting supplies, and the deliberate choice to travel through Canada to avoid unsafe environments in the U.S. The conversation pivots into an exploration of “paperwork privilege,” contrasting how bureaucratic systems treat white people versus Black people, and the mental toll of anticipating discrimination even when no harm occurs. They address audience...
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer Episode 44 | Community is inconvenient
Hey White Women
In this rich, wide-ranging conversation, Daniella and Rebecca reflect on systems of power, whiteness, deconstruction, and community. They begin by discussing "front-of-room advantage"—how audiences are conditioned to trust authority figures just because they're positioned at the front. This leads into critiques of white supremacy, especially how it shapes comfort, trust, and the way people engage with authority, learning, and community. They emphasize that community is inconvenient—it requires work, discomfort, and relationship with those who challenge you. Daniella speaks from her...
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Episode 43 | Detangling White Supremacy
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about power, privilege, whiteness, and the dynamics of control in both personal and societal contexts. They share personal stories and cultural analysis to unpack how whiteness shapes perspective, behavior, and expectations; the illusion of confidence in white male leadership; and why fear of hypothetical harm dominates many white cultural narratives. The discussion explores the American Dream as a harmful myth rooted in capitalism and scarcity mindsets, and draws parallels between cult tactics and systemic control...
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Episode 42 | The Language of Systems
Hey White Women
This episode dives into the cultural and personal narratives around productivity, storytelling, and the illusion of being “caught up.” Rebecca and Daniella explore the language we use—like “caught up,” “trappings of success,” and “by the book”—and unpack how these phrases reveal underlying systems of control and whiteness. They discuss the tension between wanting to create art and resisting the structures that commodify it, the permanence (and pressure) of publishing books versus the fluidity of online work, and the ways capitalism and cult-like systems shape our ideas of...
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Episode 41 | George Washington Didn't Have Wooden Teeth
Hey White Women
In this fiery, funny, and no-holds-barred conversation, Rebecca and Daniella go deep on why everything in America feels like a cult. From MLMs to marathons, publishing to patriotism, they expose the unspoken systems that keep us exhausted, competitive, and obedient. Together, they unpack the cult of white womanhood, the lie of the silver bullet of success, and the performance of exceptionalism that so many white institutions demand. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here....
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Episode 40 | Is Whinnie the Pooh A WS Cult?
Hey White Women
In this candid and wide-ranging conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young unpacks how cult dynamics shape everyday life—from the military to motherhood, from corporate jargon to childhood punishments over “scowling at the Word of God.” She and Rebecca dig into the subtle and overt ways white supremacy trains white women into compliance and calls it safety. Daniella also breaks down the coded messages in American media—including her darkly hilarious theory that Winnie the Pooh is a cult. Through stories of her upbringing, military career, and anti-racism work, Daniella helps listeners...
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Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack what happens when white belief in institutional fairness collides with the lived reality of systemic injustice. Daniella reflects on a moment of betrayal in traffic court and how it cracked open her assumptions about justice, privilege, and whiteness. The conversation weaves through topics like the myth of rule-following as protection, the military's blending of cultural vernaculars, and the unique disorientation white women face when systems stop working for them. They also explore how white women’s fear of “doing it wrong”—especially...
info_outlineIn this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the concept of body coverage as a form of appearance control in cults and white supremacy. They explore the loaded language and thought-stopping cliches used to enforce modesty and control women's bodies. They also touch on the intersection of race and body coverage, highlighting the policing of black women's bodies and the privileging of white beauty standards. The conversation delves into the influence of cult language and the importance of challenging and deconstructing these harmful ideologies. The conversation explores the limitations placed on professional women in terms of appearance, the power of language, and the impact of beauty standards. It delves into the intersectionality of race and gender, the control and behavior prescriptions imposed by appearance standards, and the need for representation and diverse perspectives in positions of power. The discussion also touches on the troubled teen industry, the importance of storytelling and language, and the potential for change in the political landscape. The conversation explores the themes of identity, white supremacy, misogyny, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. It delves into the experiences of being a woman and the challenges faced in navigating patriarchal systems. The speakers discuss the importance of self-acceptance and finding one's own mission in life. They also touch on the power dynamics within cults and the need to redefine success on one's own terms.
Connect with Rebecca at:
Connect with Daniella at:
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
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UnAMERICAN Videobook
Takeaways
- Body coverage is a form of appearance control used in cults and white supremacy to enforce modesty and control women's bodies.
- Loaded language and thought-stopping cliches are used to shut down critical discussion and maintain the status quo.
- The policing of black women's bodies and the privileging of white beauty standards are examples of how body coverage intersects with race.
- Challenging and deconstructing harmful ideologies is essential for dismantling systems of oppression. Appearance standards for professional women can be limiting and reinforce patriarchal norms.
- Language is a powerful tool that can be used to attack or empower.
Beauty standards are often about controlling women and prescribing behavior. - Intersectionality is important in understanding the experiences of different groups.
- Representation and diverse perspectives are crucial in positions of power.
- The troubled teen industry and its impact on individuals' lives is a significant issue.
- Storytelling and language play a role in shaping our understanding of the world.
- Change is possible, and it requires challenging existing systems and norms. Identity is complex and can be defined by both what it is and what it is not.
- White identity is often defined by not being black, while black identity is not defined by not being white.
- Societal pressure often leads to black people being marginalized and white people feeling the need to defend their identity.
- Misogyny and sexism are not the same as hating men; they are about opposing harmful beliefs and behaviors.
- Criticism and judgment from others should not dictate one's self-worth or define their mission in life.
- The pursuit of success should be redefined on one's own terms, rather than relying on external validation or societal expectations.
Sound Bites
"Body coverage is a big thing in cults, right?"
"White privilege is such a loaded term"
"White privilege is a thought-stopping cliche"
"So often the first response is just to attack because language is so primal and fundamental to us as humans."
"People have no clue what I'm doing. And you could tell, because they're just so upset that I would name myself White Woman Whisperer, that I would even address white women and not be one because then they're so confused."
"People say Swifties are a cult. I'm like, what are they against?"
"Whiteness has always been, we can't live with you and we can't live without you."
"What I hate is misogyny and sexism, and I love men that aren't that."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Yarn Discussion
01:18 Deconstructing White Supremacy and Cults
05:15 The Power of Language and Loaded Terms
10:34 Thought-Stopping Cliches and White Privilege
14:16 Questioning and Challenging Language
16:16 Creating Spaces for Marginalized Voices
17:59 The Art of Knitting: Patience and Practice
18:25 Body Coverage in Cults: Appearance Control and Conformity
25:46 Policing Black Women's Sexuality: Stereotypes and Double Standards
31:58 The Evolution of Beauty Standards: Tools for Control
36:04 Self-Acceptance and Challenging Societal Norms
39:57 The Intersectionality of Identity and Appearance Control
41:45 Challenging Stereotypes and Expectations in the Military
46:20 The Power Dynamics of White Supremacy and Patriarchy
48:58 The Importance of Diverse Perspectives in Positions of Power
52:13 Valuing Lived Experiences alongside Formal Qualifications
57:58 Rethinking Traditional Games and Systems
01:07:11 Reevaluating Goals and Finding New Missions
01:07:57 The Importance of Self-Care and Self-Acceptance
01:11:30 Defining Success on Your Own Terms