Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 64 | Respectability Rebranded
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how white womanhood functions as a powerful cultural and political identity within American systems of power. The conversation examines how whiteness, gender, and class intersect to produce both vulnerability and authority, and how white women are often positioned as both victims and enforcers within oppressive structures. Together, they unpack how safety narratives, respectability politics, and emotional performances have historically been weaponized to uphold racial hierarchies while obscuring class struggle. The episode ultimately reframes white...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 63 | Performative Relief
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella is joined by White Woman Whisperer for a wide-ranging, unflinching conversation about whiteness, community, deconstruction, and political responsibility. Using current events, historical context, and personal experience, they explore why white Americans, especially white women, struggle to form collective resistance, how cult dynamics show up in liberalism and patriotism, and why deconstruction often feels like loss before it becomes liberation. The conversation challenges performative allyship, critiques victimhood narratives, and emphasizes that real change...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Women Whisperer | 62 | Driving While White
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how whiteness, cult conditioning, and authoritarian systems shape fear, behavior, and identity, using car trauma, policing, and “common sense” social scripts as entry points. Daniella connects her evangelical cult upbringing to intense driving anxiety rooted in ritualized fear of death, while Rebecca situates car anxiety within racialized policing and survival awareness. From there, the conversation expands into white privilege as the absence of danger, the dehumanization embedded in rhetorical questions, and how “anti-identity” often...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 61 | Moral Superiority Binaries
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack the backlash following Jasmine Crockett’s announcement that she’s running for Senate, focusing on how quickly public support—especially from white women—turned into purity testing. They examine why Black women in power are routinely held to impossible moral standards, particularly around U.S. support for Israel, while white politicians are rarely scrutinized the same way. The conversation expands into how whiteness flattens complexity into good/bad binaries, how “moral superiority” becomes a performance, and how this dynamic ultimately...
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | 60 | De-radicalization
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella dive into how cult dynamics show up way beyond just “cults.” Daniella shares pieces of her childhood in the Children of God and how those patterns of coercion, shame, and identity erasure followed her into adulthood—including her time in the military. They compare notes on how institutions, extremist movements, and even online communities use the same tactics to control people, and why so many folks get pulled into these systems in the first place. The conversation stays honest, nuanced, and very human as they talk about deradicalization, belonging,...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 59 | In-Person Special Episode
Hey White Women
In this in-person episode, Daniella and Rebecca dive deep into racial dynamics, whiteness, group behavior, cult patterns, and the ways white women, white culture, and American norms create invisible and often unexamined hierarchies. They explore how racism shows up in everyday interactions — such as being asked to “prove” a lived experience, being demanded to provide citations, or being treated as less credible unless a white source confirms it. They move through topics including camera/lens racism, anti-Blackness in beauty and hair culture, the Puritan roots of American “purity,”...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters
Hey White Women
This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism
Hey White Women
In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...
info_outlineIn this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the concept of body coverage as a form of appearance control in cults and white supremacy. They explore the loaded language and thought-stopping cliches used to enforce modesty and control women's bodies. They also touch on the intersection of race and body coverage, highlighting the policing of black women's bodies and the privileging of white beauty standards. The conversation delves into the influence of cult language and the importance of challenging and deconstructing these harmful ideologies. The conversation explores the limitations placed on professional women in terms of appearance, the power of language, and the impact of beauty standards. It delves into the intersectionality of race and gender, the control and behavior prescriptions imposed by appearance standards, and the need for representation and diverse perspectives in positions of power. The discussion also touches on the troubled teen industry, the importance of storytelling and language, and the potential for change in the political landscape. The conversation explores the themes of identity, white supremacy, misogyny, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. It delves into the experiences of being a woman and the challenges faced in navigating patriarchal systems. The speakers discuss the importance of self-acceptance and finding one's own mission in life. They also touch on the power dynamics within cults and the need to redefine success on one's own terms.
Connect with Rebecca at:
Connect with Daniella at:
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
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UnAMERICAN Videobook
Takeaways
- Body coverage is a form of appearance control used in cults and white supremacy to enforce modesty and control women's bodies.
- Loaded language and thought-stopping cliches are used to shut down critical discussion and maintain the status quo.
- The policing of black women's bodies and the privileging of white beauty standards are examples of how body coverage intersects with race.
- Challenging and deconstructing harmful ideologies is essential for dismantling systems of oppression. Appearance standards for professional women can be limiting and reinforce patriarchal norms.
- Language is a powerful tool that can be used to attack or empower.
Beauty standards are often about controlling women and prescribing behavior. - Intersectionality is important in understanding the experiences of different groups.
- Representation and diverse perspectives are crucial in positions of power.
- The troubled teen industry and its impact on individuals' lives is a significant issue.
- Storytelling and language play a role in shaping our understanding of the world.
- Change is possible, and it requires challenging existing systems and norms. Identity is complex and can be defined by both what it is and what it is not.
- White identity is often defined by not being black, while black identity is not defined by not being white.
- Societal pressure often leads to black people being marginalized and white people feeling the need to defend their identity.
- Misogyny and sexism are not the same as hating men; they are about opposing harmful beliefs and behaviors.
- Criticism and judgment from others should not dictate one's self-worth or define their mission in life.
- The pursuit of success should be redefined on one's own terms, rather than relying on external validation or societal expectations.
Sound Bites
"Body coverage is a big thing in cults, right?"
"White privilege is such a loaded term"
"White privilege is a thought-stopping cliche"
"So often the first response is just to attack because language is so primal and fundamental to us as humans."
"People have no clue what I'm doing. And you could tell, because they're just so upset that I would name myself White Woman Whisperer, that I would even address white women and not be one because then they're so confused."
"People say Swifties are a cult. I'm like, what are they against?"
"Whiteness has always been, we can't live with you and we can't live without you."
"What I hate is misogyny and sexism, and I love men that aren't that."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Yarn Discussion
01:18 Deconstructing White Supremacy and Cults
05:15 The Power of Language and Loaded Terms
10:34 Thought-Stopping Cliches and White Privilege
14:16 Questioning and Challenging Language
16:16 Creating Spaces for Marginalized Voices
17:59 The Art of Knitting: Patience and Practice
18:25 Body Coverage in Cults: Appearance Control and Conformity
25:46 Policing Black Women's Sexuality: Stereotypes and Double Standards
31:58 The Evolution of Beauty Standards: Tools for Control
36:04 Self-Acceptance and Challenging Societal Norms
39:57 The Intersectionality of Identity and Appearance Control
41:45 Challenging Stereotypes and Expectations in the Military
46:20 The Power Dynamics of White Supremacy and Patriarchy
48:58 The Importance of Diverse Perspectives in Positions of Power
52:13 Valuing Lived Experiences alongside Formal Qualifications
57:58 Rethinking Traditional Games and Systems
01:07:11 Reevaluating Goals and Finding New Missions
01:07:57 The Importance of Self-Care and Self-Acceptance
01:11:30 Defining Success on Your Own Terms