Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters
Hey White Women
This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism
Hey White Women
In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day
Hey White Women
Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears
Hey White Women
This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the...
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White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...
info_outlineIn this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the concept of body coverage as a form of appearance control in cults and white supremacy. They explore the loaded language and thought-stopping cliches used to enforce modesty and control women's bodies. They also touch on the intersection of race and body coverage, highlighting the policing of black women's bodies and the privileging of white beauty standards. The conversation delves into the influence of cult language and the importance of challenging and deconstructing these harmful ideologies. The conversation explores the limitations placed on professional women in terms of appearance, the power of language, and the impact of beauty standards. It delves into the intersectionality of race and gender, the control and behavior prescriptions imposed by appearance standards, and the need for representation and diverse perspectives in positions of power. The discussion also touches on the troubled teen industry, the importance of storytelling and language, and the potential for change in the political landscape. The conversation explores the themes of identity, white supremacy, misogyny, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. It delves into the experiences of being a woman and the challenges faced in navigating patriarchal systems. The speakers discuss the importance of self-acceptance and finding one's own mission in life. They also touch on the power dynamics within cults and the need to redefine success on one's own terms.
Connect with Rebecca at:
Connect with Daniella at:
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
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UnAMERICAN Videobook
Takeaways
- Body coverage is a form of appearance control used in cults and white supremacy to enforce modesty and control women's bodies.
- Loaded language and thought-stopping cliches are used to shut down critical discussion and maintain the status quo.
- The policing of black women's bodies and the privileging of white beauty standards are examples of how body coverage intersects with race.
- Challenging and deconstructing harmful ideologies is essential for dismantling systems of oppression. Appearance standards for professional women can be limiting and reinforce patriarchal norms.
- Language is a powerful tool that can be used to attack or empower.
Beauty standards are often about controlling women and prescribing behavior. - Intersectionality is important in understanding the experiences of different groups.
- Representation and diverse perspectives are crucial in positions of power.
- The troubled teen industry and its impact on individuals' lives is a significant issue.
- Storytelling and language play a role in shaping our understanding of the world.
- Change is possible, and it requires challenging existing systems and norms. Identity is complex and can be defined by both what it is and what it is not.
- White identity is often defined by not being black, while black identity is not defined by not being white.
- Societal pressure often leads to black people being marginalized and white people feeling the need to defend their identity.
- Misogyny and sexism are not the same as hating men; they are about opposing harmful beliefs and behaviors.
- Criticism and judgment from others should not dictate one's self-worth or define their mission in life.
- The pursuit of success should be redefined on one's own terms, rather than relying on external validation or societal expectations.
Sound Bites
"Body coverage is a big thing in cults, right?"
"White privilege is such a loaded term"
"White privilege is a thought-stopping cliche"
"So often the first response is just to attack because language is so primal and fundamental to us as humans."
"People have no clue what I'm doing. And you could tell, because they're just so upset that I would name myself White Woman Whisperer, that I would even address white women and not be one because then they're so confused."
"People say Swifties are a cult. I'm like, what are they against?"
"Whiteness has always been, we can't live with you and we can't live without you."
"What I hate is misogyny and sexism, and I love men that aren't that."
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Yarn Discussion
01:18 Deconstructing White Supremacy and Cults
05:15 The Power of Language and Loaded Terms
10:34 Thought-Stopping Cliches and White Privilege
14:16 Questioning and Challenging Language
16:16 Creating Spaces for Marginalized Voices
17:59 The Art of Knitting: Patience and Practice
18:25 Body Coverage in Cults: Appearance Control and Conformity
25:46 Policing Black Women's Sexuality: Stereotypes and Double Standards
31:58 The Evolution of Beauty Standards: Tools for Control
36:04 Self-Acceptance and Challenging Societal Norms
39:57 The Intersectionality of Identity and Appearance Control
41:45 Challenging Stereotypes and Expectations in the Military
46:20 The Power Dynamics of White Supremacy and Patriarchy
48:58 The Importance of Diverse Perspectives in Positions of Power
52:13 Valuing Lived Experiences alongside Formal Qualifications
57:58 Rethinking Traditional Games and Systems
01:07:11 Reevaluating Goals and Finding New Missions
01:07:57 The Importance of Self-Care and Self-Acceptance
01:11:30 Defining Success on Your Own Terms