Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
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Frameworks: The Invisible Structures Behind A Well Lived Life
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark shares the value of the “pregame” the guys use to prepare for the podcast He introduces the topic of frameworks How they can be good or harmful Jim shares how frameworks evolve and how ours did. Our tagline “The Imperfection Is The Perfection” Jim used this with his kids when they got frustrated with him He thinks imperfections and failures make us who we are Jim shares how when we started the podcast, we were thinking of “Civill Discourse” as a theme. Then we came upon our Wheel Of Life Jim takes us around the wheel and digs into all 5 areas of life and then some deeper...
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The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topics of solitude and one’s persona Jim jumps in to help contextualize this discussion Mark reads the definitions of “Persona” and “Solitude” Mark asks Jim about his trip Jim separates being alone for a few minutes from the very different version of a 7 day solo trip Jim has chosen solo trips in the last few years He reflects on how his roles and personas have changed as he’s aged He talks about not caring what others think and how freeing that is Mark reflects on the solitude that can from his divorce. He didn’t choose that but did choose how to...
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The Science of Self-Talk: How Thoughts Shape Our Reality
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the power of the mind and self-talk The idea that we now have science and data to support the value of positive talk, visualization and vibration in influencing our happiness and peace of mind Jim got the idea from Billy Carson’s appearance on Lewis Howe’s Greatness podcast Jim shares the story of how we met. He was struggling mentally and emotionally and had some evidence that concussions might be part of his challenge. In his research, he found me. He flew out to Orlando and we met. Jim tells his concussion story and the details of his journey toward a...
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How Sensitivity And Unconscious Bias Shape Us As Men
Imperfect Mens Club
We just started talking. No Intro! Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity Mark brings up the Catholic Church Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress He say...
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The Power of Agency: How Writing a Book Can Build Trust and Elevate Your Brand
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of agency. Jim thinks Mark is a great example of what an agent is He reads a definition and adds some context to what an agent is and how he may, in fact, be one The value of having an objective third party negotiating on your behalf Jim thinks AI will make being an agent much more valuable He discusses the agents he uses. His patent agent, for example. Agents are not as close as we are to our capabilities and competencies Agents can be particularly helpful negotiating your price. What you’re worth He talks about his most recent projects to operate as an agent Jim...
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Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude” He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life” “When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one” Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally...
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Unconditional Service: Navigating the Complexities of Helping Others
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of serving others and connects it to the flywheel of life in the category of relationships/others. Jim brings up the wheel and discusses each of the 5 areas - Money, worldview, relationships, health and career/profession This episode is about others. Men and women He says there are two types of service and then shares his recent event KBIS in Las Vegas. He was selected as #1 membership chair in the country Two types of service are paid and unpaid He talks about the unpaid type - how different it is to serve for pay and to serve simply to serve “Unconditional”...
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How Are You Serving Others? What Does That Look Like?
Imperfect Mens Club
Jim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them Our experience leaves us with knowledge and...
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Growth Is On The Other Side Of Resistance
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and both guys have personal accounts of dealing with making themselves vulnerable Jim thinks that most of us don’t put ourselves out there Jim brings in our flywheel and the 5 areas of life and then uses his 5 W’s approach (Why, who, when, where and what) Mark reads the definition of self-vulnerability that Jim provides from his online searches about the topic Jim says acknowledging your strengths is easy, but sharing your weaknesses is much harder Jim shares his fear he experienced getting ready for a recent webinar presentation. He wonders why he put himself out...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of civil discourse and reads the definition
He classifies it as a worldview topic and asks Jim to chime in
Jim tells the story about how he and Mark met and that the original topic of the podcast was going to be civil discourse
Jim takes us around the wheel and explains where our worldview comes from. Our childhood and our political views
Jim cites the current problem that we have in our country with being decided
He also suggests that some of the conspiracy theories out there might likely be true
Jim says we all are formed by what’s happening in our own back yard. Mark agrees
Jim references our wheel again and then asks Mark to share the story that originated the topic
Mark says in order to have civil discourse you need to be intentionally civil and kind
Both guys agree they are slightly misaligned with regard to optimism and pessimism
Jim doesn’t think “the other side” is willing to do this. They simply want to be critical
Mark asks a lot of questions and stays away from accusations
Mark tells his “yard sign” story
He responds to 3 Harris/Walz signs his neighbors dropped with his own sign response
Mark explains his positions and his take on the political argument landscape
Jim jumps back in with his take on our national elections. He likes using the phrases “red team and blue team”
He talks about the pandemic and the BLM riots influencing the 2020 election
Mark says the division is in pursuit of control. It was purposeful and it worked. He says the blue team is better at the game
Mark talks about the political terms that no longer mean anything
He cites the difference between knowing, feeling and thinking
Jim thinks we no longer vote “for” people, we vote “against” the other guy
Mark tries to take the person out of the discussion
Jim agrees, but doesn’t think people can.
Jim uses the word polarization and suggests that younger people don’t concern themselves with politics. They’re focused on getting their lives in order. He then distinguishes different generations
Marks shares a bit about speaking with his daughters
He calls civil discourse “mental gymnastics”
Jim sees people changing the topic when they get frustrated
Mark agrees and suggests people should just admit when they don’t know
People who are not able to support their positions are’t willing to admit they don’t know
Mark talks about the importance of speaking up
Jim talks about the media. Mark says there is no objective news anymore
Jim brings up Johnny Carson and his objectivity because that’s what his dad watched before bed time
Carson laughed and made fun of both sides
Mark says Carson had a singularity of purpose…to make people laugh
The guys then bring up the current late night hosts and how biased they are
Mark mentions that one group that is bringing us back is the stand up comedians
They discuss Bill Maher, Seinfeld and Joe Rogan
Mark brings up Jordan Peterson as a great civil discourse practitioner
Mark bring in RFKJr and Tulsi Gabard
Jim brings up the women of The View and Mark talks about how people love to stir shit. Bad news sells
Mark makes a suggestion to the audience about being more intentional regarding being civil
He says we spend too much energy on winning and convincing
Jim recommends not using people’s names. He likes the blue red team approach. He also recommends not watching the news and just repeating talking points
Mark recommends to not react to new things immediately. Wait, pause. Allow for context to be discovered
Don’t make assumptions and get context
Jim says you often have to simply stop talking about it
Change takes place over time, not in one conversation