The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas
Release Date: 04/10/2025
Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps
Imperfect Mens Club
I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it. What we cover Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval. Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition. Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily...
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Self Mastery - 12 Principles For A Rich Life
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self mastery and self transformation. Jim found 12 rules of self mastery online Discipline Focus Resilience Consistency Solitude Energy Mind Body Legacy Time Surround Untouchable Jim explains how he was attracted to this framework He connects this exercise to self awareness. He shares that our life is “on us”. No one is coming to help. We are responsible for our lives Mark begins by reading the definition of each word. First is discipline. Mark suggests there is no destination. It’s a journey. Jim suggests discipline requires us to do hard things every day....
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What Life Teaches Us About Self-Discovery - Reflection, Humility, and Belonging
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Self discovery He frames the topic with Carl Jung’s definition of what happens in life when we reach the age of 60 and then shares additional context about the beginning, middle and tail end of life and how we can “rediscover” ourselves many times over the course of our lives Jim views life in 5 and 10 year “stages”. He doesn’t think everyone goes thru self discovery exercises and then he brings the flywheel framework for context. He shares his research for this episode. He appreciates his solitude as an example of his self discovery and how the...
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Subconscious Self Doubt - The Silent Partner You Never Chose
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the subconscious mind and the emotion of self doubt. He cites the science that shows we are driven by our subconscious. Somewhere between 85 and 95% of our actions are from subconscious memory Jim shares his opinion about how this topic fits into our wheel. He aligns the discussion to the wheel. He heard a podcast that talked about self doubt and money. He quotes the podcast and agrees with Marks incite into the science of the subconscious. Mark talks about his frame of reference being the people he knows that have varying degrees of emotional balance. Happy people...
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Why Neurodiverse Minds Crave "Frameworks"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of frameworks and mentions Jim’s recent adoption of hi “5M Framework” Manifesto Methodology Mentality Machine Mindset Jim found a manifesto that Mark had written 2 years ago while preparing to do some promotion of the podcast and he ties that in to the IMC framework. Our 5 areas of life flywheel Jim shares that the actual topic came from my being 1 minute late (I’m never late). Jim then goes over our flywheel of life framework and the 5 areas. He reflects on where he was in life when we first met. He was out of sorts and seeking answers. Then he talks about his...
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What Advice Would You Give Your 15 Year Old Self?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Jim’s interaction with his young niece at 15 asking him what he might do differently looking back at his 15 year old self Both guys thought it was cool for such a young person to ask such a wise question Mark reads the response that Jim sent in a text message to his niece Jim reflects on his response and how context and circumstance are so important. Mark agrees and cites the difference between good and bad advice. He iterates on the value of what you don’t do versus what you should do. Jim feels that what you should not do is more important than what you...
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Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of one’s self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it’s important to know what you can and can’t control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self’s in the center. Jim says he’s been more aware of the self narratives of other people he’s encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he’s being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we’ve made...
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Your Inner Critic - Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the deep dive Jim took into the writing of Carl Jung and the specific topic he writes about - self talk Mark thinks most us have more negative self talk than positive Jim adds context - Jim likes stuff related to our podcast and our wheel. Particularly the self. He goes around our flywheel. When you’re challenging yourself, self talk can creep in Mark says this voice is powerful and not always positive. It’s also often subconscious. Mark reads the definition Mark reads Jung’s 5 archetypes The Good Student The Silent Healer The Starving Artist The Invisible One The Over...
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Navigating Our Response To Trauma With Grace
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of trauma and how we respond to trauma This topic came up from some family events and aging and how people respond to trauma Jim brings a framework to the discussion…The 5 “F’s” Jim fits trauma into our flywheel framework. He breaks down the 5 areas and we decide to focus on relationships and The Self We can’t seem to discuss anything without coming back to self awareness Jim got this framework from a podcast he listened to about trauma. The 5 F’s of trauma response are Fight Freeze Fawn Flop Flight Jim thinks most people opt for flight. They run Mark says...
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Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
info_outlineMark introduces the topics of solitude and one’s persona
Jim jumps in to help contextualize this discussion
Mark reads the definitions of “Persona” and “Solitude”
Mark asks Jim about his trip
Jim separates being alone for a few minutes from the very different version of a 7 day solo trip
Jim has chosen solo trips in the last few years
He reflects on how his roles and personas have changed as he’s aged
He talks about not caring what others think and how freeing that is
Mark reflects on the solitude that can from his divorce. He didn’t choose that but did choose how to respond to it
He says he really enjoyed being alone for 10 years. He defines what he means…no committed relationship for 10 years. He talks about what solitude provided for him. Thoughts, ideas, gratitude, etc…
Jim says he’s the best version of himself when he’s alone
He’s grateful that his wife is supportive of these solo trips. She is encouraging now after understanding the value of solitude for her husband
Jim feels that women don’t like to be alone and men are more likely to enjoy solitude
Mark suggests that solitude brings out our human nature. Our true nature
Jim shares the recognition of getting older. How we don’t look or feel the same as we used to
He goes on to share details of his social interaction on one particular evening on the road
Jim says there are many different movies going on at the same time
Mark talks about looks and how young women don’t notice him any more…and it’s OK. Actually laughable
Jim talks about being in the same locale at three different ages…young, a bit older and middle aged
Both guys reflect on how young they feel versus how they look. It’s a wake up call every time he looks in a mirror. He talks about how he moves from one persona to the next (dad, son, pro, brother…)
Jim talks about intentionally changing and updating our personal personas to remain authentic
Jim thinks we hold a lot in and don’t always feel comfortable being real…vulnerable. We don’t want to offend
Caring less about what other people think is critical to happiness. Moving on
Jim brings up the value and contribution of giving off positive vibes
Mark agrees but cautions about feeling responsible for other’s people happiness and then talks about his dad and the value of ignoring. The ability to ignore people and circumstances
Mark asks Jim about turning 60
Jim reflects on some of his experiences going back to places he went to as an older man. People are in a different place, different thoughts, different worldview
He shares another story on another evening on the road
Mark talks about how freeing it is to be around strangers. He feels braver. Less concerned about how strangers might feel about him
Jim thinks most people want to engage, but many don’t
Jim shares one of his stops at a property his dad left him. How different the place and people are now versus when he was young. How different he may have been had his family stayed and not moved to CA
Mark thinks turning 60 has had a big impact on both guys. 60 triggers different roles and different views, different friendships
Jim reflects on how industry and society have changed. The geeks aren’t running things anymore. Domain experts and solutions are more relevant than tech skills. Tech is tools. Problem solvers are in demand
Jim talks about the evolving definition of what a man is. That became confusing and we stuck with our guns. Men were men and still are
We’re proud that we didn’t cave in to the woke mob
Mark share his process and how he begins every consultation with self reflection and he thinks people avoid self reflection because it’s hard/difficult