The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas

Mark introduces the topics of solitude and one’s persona

Jim jumps in to help contextualize this discussion

Mark reads the definitions of  “Persona” and “Solitude”

Mark asks Jim about his trip

Jim separates being alone for a few minutes from the very different version of a 7 day solo trip

Jim has chosen solo trips in the last few years

He reflects on how his roles and personas have changed as he’s aged

He talks about not caring what others think and how freeing that is

Mark reflects on the solitude that can from his divorce. He didn’t choose that but did choose how to respond to it

He says he really enjoyed being alone for 10 years. He defines what he means…no committed relationship for 10 years. He talks about what solitude provided for him. Thoughts, ideas, gratitude, etc…

Jim says he’s the best version of himself when he’s alone

He’s grateful that his wife is supportive of these solo trips. She is encouraging now after understanding the value of solitude for her husband

Jim feels that women don’t like to be alone and men are more likely to enjoy solitude

Mark suggests that solitude brings out our human nature. Our true nature

Jim shares the recognition of getting older. How we don’t look or feel the same as we used to

He goes on to share details of his social interaction on one particular evening on the road

Jim says there are many different movies going on at the same time

Mark talks about looks and how young women don’t notice him any more…and it’s OK. Actually laughable

Jim talks about being in the same locale at three different ages…young, a bit older and middle aged

Both guys reflect on how young they feel versus how they look. It’s a wake up call every time he looks in a mirror. He talks about how he moves from one persona to the next (dad, son, pro, brother…)

Jim talks about intentionally changing and updating our personal personas to remain authentic

Jim thinks we hold a lot in and don’t always feel comfortable being real…vulnerable. We don’t want to offend

Caring less about what other people think is critical to happiness. Moving on

Jim brings up the value and contribution of giving off positive vibes

Mark agrees but cautions about feeling responsible for other’s people happiness and then talks about his dad and the value of ignoring. The ability to ignore people and circumstances

Mark asks Jim about turning 60

Jim reflects on some of his experiences going back to places he went to as an older man. People are in a different place, different thoughts, different worldview

He shares another story on another evening on the road

Mark talks about how freeing it is to be around strangers. He feels braver. Less concerned about how strangers might feel about him

Jim thinks most people want to engage, but many don’t

Jim shares one of his stops at a property his dad left him. How different the place and people are now versus when he was young. How different he may have been had his family stayed and not moved to CA

Mark thinks turning 60 has had a big impact on both guys. 60 triggers different roles and different views, different friendships

Jim reflects on how industry and society have changed. The geeks aren’t running things anymore. Domain experts and solutions are more relevant than tech skills. Tech is tools. Problem solvers are in demand

Jim talks about the evolving definition of what a man is. That became confusing and we stuck with our guns. Men were men and still are

We’re proud that we didn’t cave in to the woke mob

Mark share his process and how he begins every consultation with self reflection and he thinks people avoid self reflection because it’s hard/difficult