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Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude

Imperfect Mens Club

Release Date: 03/13/2025

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Imperfect Mens Club

We just started talking. No Intro! Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity Mark brings up the Catholic Church Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress He say...

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Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude show art Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude

Imperfect Mens Club

Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude” He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life” “When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one” Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally...

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Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the topic of serving others and connects it to the flywheel of life in the category of relationships/others. Jim brings up the wheel and discusses each of the 5 areas - Money, worldview, relationships, health and career/profession This episode is about others. Men and women He says there are two types of service and then shares his recent event KBIS in Las Vegas. He was selected as #1 membership chair in the country Two types of service are paid and unpaid He talks about the unpaid type - how different it is to serve for pay and to serve simply to serve “Unconditional”...

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Imperfect Mens Club

Jim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them Our experience leaves us with knowledge and...

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Imperfect Mens Club

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Imperfect Mens Club

Today Jim and I welcome a special guest. Paul Carroll was my mentor in the start-up staffing space at the beginning of my career and he joins us today to talk about his latest work volunteering with young men in the foster care system We started recording before my introduction:). It sounded good so we decided to keep rolling. Sorry for any confusion Pauls shares his sense of urgency and the “signs” that showed up for him that got him interested in this work initially He shares how the work went from theoretical to practical Jim asks Paul if this is similar to the problem/solution approach...

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Imperfect Mens Club

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Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the episode about belief systems in the context of the fires in Southern California Remember…Jim is a California native still living in the Bay Area and Mark has lived in Florida since 1990 Two very different perspectives and responses to natural disasters! Jim says it’s personal because he has friends and family in the fire zone He brings in our tag line and framework. He says we’ll try and find some good in all of it. He cites our 5 areas with focus on worldview Jim share some of his preparation for the episode. He asks Mark to read the definition of “belief...

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Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces Episode 1 of Season 4 with the topic of a paradigm shift. A shift in the way the country is moving with the election of Donald Trump and the push back against “woke” Jim introduces the wheel and worldview as a likely connection to the topic. He believes the shift is well on it’s way and we can see and hear evidence of it as more people open up post election Jim has some examples and topics he wants to discuss The first one is COVID What did covid change - communication Second is BLM/DEI. Neither were sustainable Third is The 2024 election 4th is Artificial Intelligence...

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More Episodes

Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude”

He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external

Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide

Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life”

“When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one”

Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally his colleague who just lost a son to suicide

Upon hearing the news, Jim thought he was seeing/hearing things…hoping it wasn’t true

He shares how he responded “forgive me for what I say”…He’s in a better place…it’s difficult to be a man today…”

Jim has 3 friends who have lost sons

Mental illness becomes a topic of discussion

Mark agrees how difficult it is to respond to such a tragedy

Apologizing for the cliche, Mark reminds us that life is about how you respond…not what happens to you

Jim - this is where fortitude comes in…you gotta reach deep  Jim seems to feel he was helpful based on his friends response

The guys discuss suicide. Is it selfish or unselfish?  Mark talks a bit about his mom’s suicide. He tries to put it in perspective. How the emotional experience evolved from anger to relief to sadness to loss

Jim chimes in about Mark’s story and gets perspective from it

Then Mark talks about settling his mom’s estate. Prolonging the loss…

Jim expounds on his comment - “It’s difficult to be a male”

Mark agrees that society has challenged the notion of masculinity

Mark shares that he has 4 generations to sample experience from

He condemns the phrase “toxic masculinity. He talks about human nature and his experience as a man. It’s harder to be a man than it’s ever been

Jim asks Mark to share some suicide stats. Biggest killer of men under 45

60 men every minute of every day 365 days a year

He quotes Gabor Mate and suffering

He mentions the Harvard study of men

Jim brings up depression as a root cause of suffering and suicide

Jim shares his own experience with depression

Mark says his experience with mental illness is mostly second hand. His experience in context. How his position on mental illness has evolved and how he thinks we need to bring it more out into the open

Jim says we have also lost our sense of humor and that doesn’t help. How being around people who can laugh at life is so important

Mark and Jim laugh about Jim just turning 60. He says he’s thinking about doing a roast and both guys have fun with that. We can laugh at life

Mark - the funeral is not for the dead. It’s for the people left behind…he attaches that to the young mans suicide. Celebrating their life and not living in sadness about the loss of

Fortitude can get your through and past tragedy

Mark applauds Jim’s choice of words. “Please forgive me for what I’m about to say”. How hard it is to express your sadness

“he didn’t want to be here. he’s in a better place”

Mark shares some perspective on how the living need to be considered. Also how sad people to present as sad

Nobody

Mark hopes people can take away something helpful