Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude
Release Date: 03/13/2025
Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineMark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude”
He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external
Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide
Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life”
“When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one”
Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally his colleague who just lost a son to suicide
Upon hearing the news, Jim thought he was seeing/hearing things…hoping it wasn’t true
He shares how he responded “forgive me for what I say”…He’s in a better place…it’s difficult to be a man today…”
Jim has 3 friends who have lost sons
Mental illness becomes a topic of discussion
Mark agrees how difficult it is to respond to such a tragedy
Apologizing for the cliche, Mark reminds us that life is about how you respond…not what happens to you
Jim - this is where fortitude comes in…you gotta reach deep Jim seems to feel he was helpful based on his friends response
The guys discuss suicide. Is it selfish or unselfish? Mark talks a bit about his mom’s suicide. He tries to put it in perspective. How the emotional experience evolved from anger to relief to sadness to loss
Jim chimes in about Mark’s story and gets perspective from it
Then Mark talks about settling his mom’s estate. Prolonging the loss…
Jim expounds on his comment - “It’s difficult to be a male”
Mark agrees that society has challenged the notion of masculinity
Mark shares that he has 4 generations to sample experience from
He condemns the phrase “toxic masculinity. He talks about human nature and his experience as a man. It’s harder to be a man than it’s ever been
Jim asks Mark to share some suicide stats. Biggest killer of men under 45
60 men every minute of every day 365 days a year
He quotes Gabor Mate and suffering
He mentions the Harvard study of men
Jim brings up depression as a root cause of suffering and suicide
Jim shares his own experience with depression
Mark says his experience with mental illness is mostly second hand. His experience in context. How his position on mental illness has evolved and how he thinks we need to bring it more out into the open
Jim says we have also lost our sense of humor and that doesn’t help. How being around people who can laugh at life is so important
Mark and Jim laugh about Jim just turning 60. He says he’s thinking about doing a roast and both guys have fun with that. We can laugh at life
Mark - the funeral is not for the dead. It’s for the people left behind…he attaches that to the young mans suicide. Celebrating their life and not living in sadness about the loss of
Fortitude can get your through and past tragedy
Mark applauds Jim’s choice of words. “Please forgive me for what I’m about to say”. How hard it is to express your sadness
“he didn’t want to be here. he’s in a better place”
Mark shares some perspective on how the living need to be considered. Also how sad people to present as sad
Nobody
Mark hopes people can take away something helpful