Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude
Release Date: 03/13/2025
Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
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Frameworks: The Invisible Structures Behind A Well Lived Life
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark shares the value of the “pregame” the guys use to prepare for the podcast He introduces the topic of frameworks How they can be good or harmful Jim shares how frameworks evolve and how ours did. Our tagline “The Imperfection Is The Perfection” Jim used this with his kids when they got frustrated with him He thinks imperfections and failures make us who we are Jim shares how when we started the podcast, we were thinking of “Civill Discourse” as a theme. Then we came upon our Wheel Of Life Jim takes us around the wheel and digs into all 5 areas of life and then some deeper...
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The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topics of solitude and one’s persona Jim jumps in to help contextualize this discussion Mark reads the definitions of “Persona” and “Solitude” Mark asks Jim about his trip Jim separates being alone for a few minutes from the very different version of a 7 day solo trip Jim has chosen solo trips in the last few years He reflects on how his roles and personas have changed as he’s aged He talks about not caring what others think and how freeing that is Mark reflects on the solitude that can from his divorce. He didn’t choose that but did choose how to...
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The Science of Self-Talk: How Thoughts Shape Our Reality
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the power of the mind and self-talk The idea that we now have science and data to support the value of positive talk, visualization and vibration in influencing our happiness and peace of mind Jim got the idea from Billy Carson’s appearance on Lewis Howe’s Greatness podcast Jim shares the story of how we met. He was struggling mentally and emotionally and had some evidence that concussions might be part of his challenge. In his research, he found me. He flew out to Orlando and we met. Jim tells his concussion story and the details of his journey toward a...
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How Sensitivity And Unconscious Bias Shape Us As Men
Imperfect Mens Club
We just started talking. No Intro! Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity Mark brings up the Catholic Church Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress He say...
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The Power of Agency: How Writing a Book Can Build Trust and Elevate Your Brand
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of agency. Jim thinks Mark is a great example of what an agent is He reads a definition and adds some context to what an agent is and how he may, in fact, be one The value of having an objective third party negotiating on your behalf Jim thinks AI will make being an agent much more valuable He discusses the agents he uses. His patent agent, for example. Agents are not as close as we are to our capabilities and competencies Agents can be particularly helpful negotiating your price. What you’re worth He talks about his most recent projects to operate as an agent Jim...
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Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude” He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life” “When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one” Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally...
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Unconditional Service: Navigating the Complexities of Helping Others
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of serving others and connects it to the flywheel of life in the category of relationships/others. Jim brings up the wheel and discusses each of the 5 areas - Money, worldview, relationships, health and career/profession This episode is about others. Men and women He says there are two types of service and then shares his recent event KBIS in Las Vegas. He was selected as #1 membership chair in the country Two types of service are paid and unpaid He talks about the unpaid type - how different it is to serve for pay and to serve simply to serve “Unconditional”...
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How Are You Serving Others? What Does That Look Like?
Imperfect Mens Club
Jim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them Our experience leaves us with knowledge and...
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Growth Is On The Other Side Of Resistance
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and both guys have personal accounts of dealing with making themselves vulnerable Jim thinks that most of us don’t put ourselves out there Jim brings in our flywheel and the 5 areas of life and then uses his 5 W’s approach (Why, who, when, where and what) Mark reads the definition of self-vulnerability that Jim provides from his online searches about the topic Jim says acknowledging your strengths is easy, but sharing your weaknesses is much harder Jim shares his fear he experienced getting ready for a recent webinar presentation. He wonders why he put himself out...
info_outlineMark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude”
He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external
Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide
Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life”
“When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one”
Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally his colleague who just lost a son to suicide
Upon hearing the news, Jim thought he was seeing/hearing things…hoping it wasn’t true
He shares how he responded “forgive me for what I say”…He’s in a better place…it’s difficult to be a man today…”
Jim has 3 friends who have lost sons
Mental illness becomes a topic of discussion
Mark agrees how difficult it is to respond to such a tragedy
Apologizing for the cliche, Mark reminds us that life is about how you respond…not what happens to you
Jim - this is where fortitude comes in…you gotta reach deep Jim seems to feel he was helpful based on his friends response
The guys discuss suicide. Is it selfish or unselfish? Mark talks a bit about his mom’s suicide. He tries to put it in perspective. How the emotional experience evolved from anger to relief to sadness to loss
Jim chimes in about Mark’s story and gets perspective from it
Then Mark talks about settling his mom’s estate. Prolonging the loss…
Jim expounds on his comment - “It’s difficult to be a male”
Mark agrees that society has challenged the notion of masculinity
Mark shares that he has 4 generations to sample experience from
He condemns the phrase “toxic masculinity. He talks about human nature and his experience as a man. It’s harder to be a man than it’s ever been
Jim asks Mark to share some suicide stats. Biggest killer of men under 45
60 men every minute of every day 365 days a year
He quotes Gabor Mate and suffering
He mentions the Harvard study of men
Jim brings up depression as a root cause of suffering and suicide
Jim shares his own experience with depression
Mark says his experience with mental illness is mostly second hand. His experience in context. How his position on mental illness has evolved and how he thinks we need to bring it more out into the open
Jim says we have also lost our sense of humor and that doesn’t help. How being around people who can laugh at life is so important
Mark and Jim laugh about Jim just turning 60. He says he’s thinking about doing a roast and both guys have fun with that. We can laugh at life
Mark - the funeral is not for the dead. It’s for the people left behind…he attaches that to the young mans suicide. Celebrating their life and not living in sadness about the loss of
Fortitude can get your through and past tragedy
Mark applauds Jim’s choice of words. “Please forgive me for what I’m about to say”. How hard it is to express your sadness
“he didn’t want to be here. he’s in a better place”
Mark shares some perspective on how the living need to be considered. Also how sad people to present as sad
Nobody
Mark hopes people can take away something helpful