The Science of Self-Talk: How Thoughts Shape Our Reality
Release Date: 04/03/2025
Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of the power of the mind and self-talk
The idea that we now have science and data to support the value of positive talk, visualization and vibration in influencing our happiness and peace of mind
Jim got the idea from Billy Carson’s appearance on Lewis Howe’s Greatness podcast
Jim shares the story of how we met. He was struggling mentally and emotionally and had some evidence that concussions might be part of his challenge. In his research, he found me. He flew out to Orlando and we met. Jim tells his concussion story and the details of his journey toward a solution
Jim sought a mixture of traditional medicine and alternative approaches (me)
When Jim got to a point of resolution, he thought his journey was over
It wasn’t. He then continued investigating. This podcast was part of it. He then share his take aways from the episode
Mark ties himself in by sharing his own routine. Mark brings out the wheel and points to the self, self-awareness and self-reflection
Mark shares his memory of sports psychology all the way back to little league and high school
Jim talks about this…the “zone” and how Michael Jordan functioned at a different frequency than everyone else. He played in the zone
Jim goes deeper into the science. Frequency and vibration
Mark shares his routine, which includes, breath, visualization, meditation and pryer
Small progress daily over time
Jim talks about hi being an inventor. How no-one actually invents anything new…they pull stuff from the universe and calibrate and align it to make it unique and novel
Mark jokes about how he used to doubt this stuff and how this stuff is mainstream now - external influences
He now exercises his mind with routines daily. He is excited about having control over his own well being
Jim gives an example of how our vibrations can be felt by others. We can vibrate to get others to shine
Jim brings politics He shares what the leader of Iran said about Israel…it’s a mindset…an ideology and mindset
He transitions into how these things come from past trauma unresolved
Einstein - Life is an illusion
Mark goes back to Jim’s statement about control. We can control our thoughts by doing the work. Self awareness and overcoming/surrendering our limiting beliefs
Jim share his podcast guests reflection on how he changed his own life with affirmations and overcoming his own limiting beliefs
Mark brings up Sam Harris - If we talked to others like we talk to ourselves, we’d get into a lot of fights. Because we are so mean to ourselves
Jim brings in the power of self forgiveness thru affirmations
Mark thinks history shows this work being done as far back as history is written
Mark talks about the notion of control and how he didn’t feel he had control over his thoughts for most of his young life
Jim feels like we are held back until we resolve these past traumas.
Mark talks about how his kids started holding him accountable to his unconscious behaviors and limiting beliefs
Jim also feels that objective 3rd parties are also very helpful with this stuff
Jim shares the connection between stress and physical illness
Mark talks about his dad’s health and emotional balance based on his faith and the absence of stress in his life based on a Higher Power
Jim is somewhat envious of people that have true faith and he appreciates it more now
Mark shares how important it has been for him to maintain his mental/emotional routine
Mark shares his Oh God movie story
Mark reminds us that we now have science to back all this stuff up
Jim concludes with how our brains develop as kids through our 20’s. The guys joke about the stupidity of young men whose brains aren’t yet fully developed
The clean slate of young mens brains
Mark suggests that because there are so many credible sources of info on this, that we should all investigate this stuff more