Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
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Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
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Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
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Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
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90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
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The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
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How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
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Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
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Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
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Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineToday Jim and I welcome a special guest. Paul Carroll was my mentor in the start-up staffing space at the beginning of my career and he joins us today to talk about his latest work volunteering with young men in the foster care system
We started recording before my introduction:). It sounded good so we decided to keep rolling. Sorry for any confusion
Pauls shares his sense of urgency and the “signs” that showed up for him that got him interested in this work initially
He shares how the work went from theoretical to practical
Jim asks Paul if this is similar to the problem/solution approach he’s taken in business. Paul says yes, but he brought some other experiential nuance to bear
Jim asks why he’s doing it. Paul explains how his life has evolved to make this available to him. It’s time and he feels he can make an impact
Jim mentions how being independent allows us to do this “non-profit” work. An dhow important it is for kids to have a purpose
Paul shares his son’s squash career and how he brought in his foster kids to the program and how those cultures mixed and mingled
He’s found that other similar organizations have been interested in him sharing his approach as well
Paul shares some details of his upbringing. How he was raised by a “village” along with his mom
Jim reflects on the multicultural nature of Paul’s group of kids and how what they look like just doesn’t matter. Paul shares how diverse his hiring always was, because it was about results, not appearances. He emphasizes the importance of people’s childhoods in determining how to motivate and challenge them
Jim brings Mark into the discussion. Mark shares his relationship with Paul and how they’ve reconnected. He talks about mentorship and reads a definition
Mark reflects on the similarities of what Paul is doing now to what he’s always done
Mark met Paul when he was 26. He shares how they met and started working together
The guys joke about Paul being “nice” or “kind” and the simplicity of his approach
Then Jim asks Paul about Mark. Paul shares his opinion of Mark’s strengths and contextualizes their beginning in the early 90’s in Orlando, FL
Jim asks Paul if his eye for talent transfers into his assessment of his current group of foster kids. Paul says yes it does. A little direction and hand holding. Some kindness, patience and mentorship coupled with some activities is sometimes all these kids need
Jim asks Mark to read the definition of wisdom and then asks Paul what he thinks. He sees wisdom as life experience and travel experience. Been there, done that. I see the fork and if you go that way, it’s not going to be pretty
Paul put’s life in perspective and reflects on his mother’s advice. No regrets. He learned that early. Pauls says he has things he still wants to do, but he has no regrets
Mark shares Pauls testimonial about the podcast and his son’s enjoyment of it
Mark reflects on Paul’s influence and in particular how to be in a moment. Paying attention and recognizing when you’re in a moment and how simplicity plays a role in success
Jim shares our wheel and then lists some of our “self” lists. He teaches his boys self respect and feels strongly that this is the key. Everything is temporary and life is a series of choices. If you maintain your self respect, everything else will come to you. Look at life through your own eyes