Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps
Imperfect Mens Club
I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it. What we cover Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval. Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition. Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily...
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Self Mastery - 12 Principles For A Rich Life
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self mastery and self transformation. Jim found 12 rules of self mastery online Discipline Focus Resilience Consistency Solitude Energy Mind Body Legacy Time Surround Untouchable Jim explains how he was attracted to this framework He connects this exercise to self awareness. He shares that our life is “on us”. No one is coming to help. We are responsible for our lives Mark begins by reading the definition of each word. First is discipline. Mark suggests there is no destination. It’s a journey. Jim suggests discipline requires us to do hard things every day....
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What Life Teaches Us About Self-Discovery - Reflection, Humility, and Belonging
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Self discovery He frames the topic with Carl Jung’s definition of what happens in life when we reach the age of 60 and then shares additional context about the beginning, middle and tail end of life and how we can “rediscover” ourselves many times over the course of our lives Jim views life in 5 and 10 year “stages”. He doesn’t think everyone goes thru self discovery exercises and then he brings the flywheel framework for context. He shares his research for this episode. He appreciates his solitude as an example of his self discovery and how the...
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Subconscious Self Doubt - The Silent Partner You Never Chose
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the subconscious mind and the emotion of self doubt. He cites the science that shows we are driven by our subconscious. Somewhere between 85 and 95% of our actions are from subconscious memory Jim shares his opinion about how this topic fits into our wheel. He aligns the discussion to the wheel. He heard a podcast that talked about self doubt and money. He quotes the podcast and agrees with Marks incite into the science of the subconscious. Mark talks about his frame of reference being the people he knows that have varying degrees of emotional balance. Happy people...
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Why Neurodiverse Minds Crave "Frameworks"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of frameworks and mentions Jim’s recent adoption of hi “5M Framework” Manifesto Methodology Mentality Machine Mindset Jim found a manifesto that Mark had written 2 years ago while preparing to do some promotion of the podcast and he ties that in to the IMC framework. Our 5 areas of life flywheel Jim shares that the actual topic came from my being 1 minute late (I’m never late). Jim then goes over our flywheel of life framework and the 5 areas. He reflects on where he was in life when we first met. He was out of sorts and seeking answers. Then he talks about his...
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What Advice Would You Give Your 15 Year Old Self?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of Jim’s interaction with his young niece at 15 asking him what he might do differently looking back at his 15 year old self Both guys thought it was cool for such a young person to ask such a wise question Mark reads the response that Jim sent in a text message to his niece Jim reflects on his response and how context and circumstance are so important. Mark agrees and cites the difference between good and bad advice. He iterates on the value of what you don’t do versus what you should do. Jim feels that what you should not do is more important than what you...
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Your Self-Narrative: Hero or Hostage?
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of one’s self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it’s important to know what you can and can’t control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self’s in the center. Jim says he’s been more aware of the self narratives of other people he’s encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he’s being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we’ve made...
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Your Inner Critic - Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the deep dive Jim took into the writing of Carl Jung and the specific topic he writes about - self talk Mark thinks most us have more negative self talk than positive Jim adds context - Jim likes stuff related to our podcast and our wheel. Particularly the self. He goes around our flywheel. When you’re challenging yourself, self talk can creep in Mark says this voice is powerful and not always positive. It’s also often subconscious. Mark reads the definition Mark reads Jung’s 5 archetypes The Good Student The Silent Healer The Starving Artist The Invisible One The Over...
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Navigating Our Response To Trauma With Grace
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of trauma and how we respond to trauma This topic came up from some family events and aging and how people respond to trauma Jim brings a framework to the discussion…The 5 “F’s” Jim fits trauma into our flywheel framework. He breaks down the 5 areas and we decide to focus on relationships and The Self We can’t seem to discuss anything without coming back to self awareness Jim got this framework from a podcast he listened to about trauma. The 5 F’s of trauma response are Fight Freeze Fawn Flop Flight Jim thinks most people opt for flight. They run Mark says...
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Self Alignment Toward That "One Thing"
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings in the topic in the context of our Wheel. The concept of focusing one only one thing until you momentum and can diversify with only the cash flow from that one thing. Simplicity Jim brings up the idea of focus and how that is bolstered with simplicity. He expands on our wheel and the five areas of life and the center of the wheel, the self Jim and Mark share their experience with the mainstream news. Both guys share that they have tried life with it and without it…and the impact is real. It’s a massive distraction Jim brings in self alignment in the context of being self...
info_outlineToday Jim and I welcome a special guest. Paul Carroll was my mentor in the start-up staffing space at the beginning of my career and he joins us today to talk about his latest work volunteering with young men in the foster care system
We started recording before my introduction:). It sounded good so we decided to keep rolling. Sorry for any confusion
Pauls shares his sense of urgency and the “signs” that showed up for him that got him interested in this work initially
He shares how the work went from theoretical to practical
Jim asks Paul if this is similar to the problem/solution approach he’s taken in business. Paul says yes, but he brought some other experiential nuance to bear
Jim asks why he’s doing it. Paul explains how his life has evolved to make this available to him. It’s time and he feels he can make an impact
Jim mentions how being independent allows us to do this “non-profit” work. An dhow important it is for kids to have a purpose
Paul shares his son’s squash career and how he brought in his foster kids to the program and how those cultures mixed and mingled
He’s found that other similar organizations have been interested in him sharing his approach as well
Paul shares some details of his upbringing. How he was raised by a “village” along with his mom
Jim reflects on the multicultural nature of Paul’s group of kids and how what they look like just doesn’t matter. Paul shares how diverse his hiring always was, because it was about results, not appearances. He emphasizes the importance of people’s childhoods in determining how to motivate and challenge them
Jim brings Mark into the discussion. Mark shares his relationship with Paul and how they’ve reconnected. He talks about mentorship and reads a definition
Mark reflects on the similarities of what Paul is doing now to what he’s always done
Mark met Paul when he was 26. He shares how they met and started working together
The guys joke about Paul being “nice” or “kind” and the simplicity of his approach
Then Jim asks Paul about Mark. Paul shares his opinion of Mark’s strengths and contextualizes their beginning in the early 90’s in Orlando, FL
Jim asks Paul if his eye for talent transfers into his assessment of his current group of foster kids. Paul says yes it does. A little direction and hand holding. Some kindness, patience and mentorship coupled with some activities is sometimes all these kids need
Jim asks Mark to read the definition of wisdom and then asks Paul what he thinks. He sees wisdom as life experience and travel experience. Been there, done that. I see the fork and if you go that way, it’s not going to be pretty
Paul put’s life in perspective and reflects on his mother’s advice. No regrets. He learned that early. Pauls says he has things he still wants to do, but he has no regrets
Mark shares Pauls testimonial about the podcast and his son’s enjoyment of it
Mark reflects on Paul’s influence and in particular how to be in a moment. Paying attention and recognizing when you’re in a moment and how simplicity plays a role in success
Jim shares our wheel and then lists some of our “self” lists. He teaches his boys self respect and feels strongly that this is the key. Everything is temporary and life is a series of choices. If you maintain your self respect, everything else will come to you. Look at life through your own eyes