The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topics of solitude and one’s persona Jim jumps in to help contextualize this discussion Mark reads the definitions of “Persona” and “Solitude” Mark asks Jim about his trip Jim separates being alone for a few minutes from the very different version of a 7 day solo trip Jim has chosen solo trips in the last few years He reflects on how his roles and personas have changed as he’s aged He talks about not caring what others think and how freeing that is Mark reflects on the solitude that can from his divorce. He didn’t choose that but did choose how to...
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The Science of Self-Talk: How Thoughts Shape Our Reality
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the power of the mind and self-talk The idea that we now have science and data to support the value of positive talk, visualization and vibration in influencing our happiness and peace of mind Jim got the idea from Billy Carson’s appearance on Lewis Howe’s Greatness podcast Jim shares the story of how we met. He was struggling mentally and emotionally and had some evidence that concussions might be part of his challenge. In his research, he found me. He flew out to Orlando and we met. Jim tells his concussion story and the details of his journey toward a...
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How Sensitivity And Unconscious Bias Shape Us As Men
Imperfect Mens Club
We just started talking. No Intro! Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity Mark brings up the Catholic Church Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress He say...
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The Power of Agency: How Writing a Book Can Build Trust and Elevate Your Brand
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of agency. Jim thinks Mark is a great example of what an agent is He reads a definition and adds some context to what an agent is and how he may, in fact, be one The value of having an objective third party negotiating on your behalf Jim thinks AI will make being an agent much more valuable He discusses the agents he uses. His patent agent, for example. Agents are not as close as we are to our capabilities and competencies Agents can be particularly helpful negotiating your price. What you’re worth He talks about his most recent projects to operate as an agent Jim...
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Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude” He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life” “When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one” Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally...
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Unconditional Service: Navigating the Complexities of Helping Others
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of serving others and connects it to the flywheel of life in the category of relationships/others. Jim brings up the wheel and discusses each of the 5 areas - Money, worldview, relationships, health and career/profession This episode is about others. Men and women He says there are two types of service and then shares his recent event KBIS in Las Vegas. He was selected as #1 membership chair in the country Two types of service are paid and unpaid He talks about the unpaid type - how different it is to serve for pay and to serve simply to serve “Unconditional”...
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How Are You Serving Others? What Does That Look Like?
Imperfect Mens Club
Jim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them Our experience leaves us with knowledge and...
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Growth Is On The Other Side Of Resistance
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and both guys have personal accounts of dealing with making themselves vulnerable Jim thinks that most of us don’t put ourselves out there Jim brings in our flywheel and the 5 areas of life and then uses his 5 W’s approach (Why, who, when, where and what) Mark reads the definition of self-vulnerability that Jim provides from his online searches about the topic Jim says acknowledging your strengths is easy, but sharing your weaknesses is much harder Jim shares his fear he experienced getting ready for a recent webinar presentation. He wonders why he put himself out...
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Mentorship and Volunteer Work - Just A Nudge
Imperfect Mens Club
Today Jim and I welcome a special guest. Paul Carroll was my mentor in the start-up staffing space at the beginning of my career and he joins us today to talk about his latest work volunteering with young men in the foster care system We started recording before my introduction:). It sounded good so we decided to keep rolling. Sorry for any confusion Pauls shares his sense of urgency and the “signs” that showed up for him that got him interested in this work initially He shares how the work went from theoretical to practical Jim asks Paul if this is similar to the problem/solution approach...
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Have We Just Left A "Bygone Era"?
Imperfect Mens Club
Episode 3 Bygone Era Mark introduces the topic for this episode. The notion of there being a bygone era. Jim suggested the topic given the current political landscape and the guys explore other applications of the notion in life Mark reads the Google definition Jim comes in and suggests that we have entered a new era. He brings of his 5 W framework and the concept of self awareness (Who,what,when,where and why) Jim cites The Biden administration and his cronies being part of this “bygone era” He claims everyone wants to remain relevant Mark recalls his start in recruiting and how...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of self identity in the context of how people feel their story about who they are and what they do
Jim chimes in with a story about the event he attended that generated our topic for today
At the event they did a “speed dating” like exercise where one of the questions was “what do you do?”
Cool story. Jim found that changed his answer as he learned by practicing with 40 or 50 people
He identified as a podcaster and found that people were very interested in his podcasting story
His other favorite question was “what is the best advice you’ve ever received?”
“Water your own grass”. Grass always looks greener…
Mark liked it because it makes you think
Jim also found that when asked, most people were happy doing what they were doing
Mark has found otherwise in his recruiting and staffing career
Both guys suspect it might be circumstantial
Mark talks about his perspective based on his staffing experience
Mark reflects on asking yourself that question…what do you do and then says most people struggle with answering and provide little to no context
Jim shares the wrinkle that everyone was on the clock. They had 5 minutes to answer…speed dating…
Jim proposes that he and Mark try the exercise on themselves. Both guys struggle and have fun with the exercise. What do you do for money…or just what do you do
Mark talks about being asked for a bio and the fear and confusion that request drums up
Jim shares that he has begun to identify as a “podcaster”. “It’s part of who I am”
Both guys agree that podcasting has made them better at everything else they do
Jim talks about what he does as projects. I do projects
Mark describes himself as a teacher, coach, agent
Jim asks Mark what he does and Mark answers and the guys go back and forth
Jim likes the word “agent” and feels that everyone needs an agent
Mark says objectivity is critical in being an effective agent
Jim says it also depends on who is asking the question
Mark likes the speed dating concept. Time is ticking
Mark begins all of his consulting with “what do you do”. He likes “what does that mean”. He tells his story about helping his girlfriends daughter
Mark thinks people don’t practice their story because we think it’s our story and we can obviously tell their own story. Jim brings up the value of having an agent again
Mark thinks anybody you can trust can be helpful, but Jim thinks we should stay away from friends and family
Mark says it’s critical to be paying someone for advice because skin in the game makes a difference
Both guys also think context is critical
Mark shares his technique for crafting a good story in three parts. The long story (interview), the elevator pitch and the tag line
Jim shares that he gravitated to the word “inventor”. I’m an inventor…
Jim critiques Mark’s response and Mark shares the evolution of his story identity
Professional development is where he arrived
Jim shares his story/identity evolution
Mark also likes the idea of putting people on the clock when crafting their story
Jim shares the judgement he felt at the start and gained confidence as he practiced
Jim makes a great point about the importance of how people introduce you to strangers. How would describe me to others?
Mark loves the speed dating idea to kick off a networking event
Mark recommends crafting and polishing your story for everyone
He recommends shooting for clarity
Jim talks about his father and his professional story. Mark does the same and talks about their generation how they were discouraged to brag about themselves
Jim says we live in a different time now where everyone seems to be building a brand
Mark talks about the self doubt monster pops up
Mark ends with a suggestion about focusing on clarity and recording yourself
Jim says get comfortable with your words and certainty. It’s not a one man job