The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topics of solitude and one’s persona Jim jumps in to help contextualize this discussion Mark reads the definitions of “Persona” and “Solitude” Mark asks Jim about his trip Jim separates being alone for a few minutes from the very different version of a 7 day solo trip Jim has chosen solo trips in the last few years He reflects on how his roles and personas have changed as he’s aged He talks about not caring what others think and how freeing that is Mark reflects on the solitude that can from his divorce. He didn’t choose that but did choose how to...
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The Science of Self-Talk: How Thoughts Shape Our Reality
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the power of the mind and self-talk The idea that we now have science and data to support the value of positive talk, visualization and vibration in influencing our happiness and peace of mind Jim got the idea from Billy Carson’s appearance on Lewis Howe’s Greatness podcast Jim shares the story of how we met. He was struggling mentally and emotionally and had some evidence that concussions might be part of his challenge. In his research, he found me. He flew out to Orlando and we met. Jim tells his concussion story and the details of his journey toward a...
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How Sensitivity And Unconscious Bias Shape Us As Men
Imperfect Mens Club
We just started talking. No Intro! Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity Mark brings up the Catholic Church Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress He say...
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The Power of Agency: How Writing a Book Can Build Trust and Elevate Your Brand
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of agency. Jim thinks Mark is a great example of what an agent is He reads a definition and adds some context to what an agent is and how he may, in fact, be one The value of having an objective third party negotiating on your behalf Jim thinks AI will make being an agent much more valuable He discusses the agents he uses. His patent agent, for example. Agents are not as close as we are to our capabilities and competencies Agents can be particularly helpful negotiating your price. What you’re worth He talks about his most recent projects to operate as an agent Jim...
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Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude” He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life” “When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one” Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally...
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Unconditional Service: Navigating the Complexities of Helping Others
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of serving others and connects it to the flywheel of life in the category of relationships/others. Jim brings up the wheel and discusses each of the 5 areas - Money, worldview, relationships, health and career/profession This episode is about others. Men and women He says there are two types of service and then shares his recent event KBIS in Las Vegas. He was selected as #1 membership chair in the country Two types of service are paid and unpaid He talks about the unpaid type - how different it is to serve for pay and to serve simply to serve “Unconditional”...
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How Are You Serving Others? What Does That Look Like?
Imperfect Mens Club
Jim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them Our experience leaves us with knowledge and...
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Growth Is On The Other Side Of Resistance
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and both guys have personal accounts of dealing with making themselves vulnerable Jim thinks that most of us don’t put ourselves out there Jim brings in our flywheel and the 5 areas of life and then uses his 5 W’s approach (Why, who, when, where and what) Mark reads the definition of self-vulnerability that Jim provides from his online searches about the topic Jim says acknowledging your strengths is easy, but sharing your weaknesses is much harder Jim shares his fear he experienced getting ready for a recent webinar presentation. He wonders why he put himself out...
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Mentorship and Volunteer Work - Just A Nudge
Imperfect Mens Club
Today Jim and I welcome a special guest. Paul Carroll was my mentor in the start-up staffing space at the beginning of my career and he joins us today to talk about his latest work volunteering with young men in the foster care system We started recording before my introduction:). It sounded good so we decided to keep rolling. Sorry for any confusion Pauls shares his sense of urgency and the “signs” that showed up for him that got him interested in this work initially He shares how the work went from theoretical to practical Jim asks Paul if this is similar to the problem/solution approach...
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Have We Just Left A "Bygone Era"?
Imperfect Mens Club
Episode 3 Bygone Era Mark introduces the topic for this episode. The notion of there being a bygone era. Jim suggested the topic given the current political landscape and the guys explore other applications of the notion in life Mark reads the Google definition Jim comes in and suggests that we have entered a new era. He brings of his 5 W framework and the concept of self awareness (Who,what,when,where and why) Jim cites The Biden administration and his cronies being part of this “bygone era” He claims everyone wants to remain relevant Mark recalls his start in recruiting and how...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of people being coachable and referable
Jim tells the story of a young man he knows and attending his wedding
He goes back a few years when this young man was just starting out and shares how he introduced him to his future boss because he was coachable, referable and persistent. Jim says he still, to this day, tries to be coachable
Mark says team sports is great fodder for stories
Mark shares his story about his daughter asking to speak with him about recruiting
She was coachable and referable. His interview was 2 hours and fantastic and at the end she decided she didn’t want to be a recruiter. He goes on to talk about his perspective on people being coachable or not
Mark talks about his friend who can’t have lunch without looking at his phone and how he unconsciously decided to not refer him to others because of the risk that might not bring his full attention to the introduction
Jim is reminded of somebody at the wedding saying “it’s all about who you know” and how that is helpful, but not enough…you have to be coachable, referable and persistent
Mark talks about nepotism and and the absence of coachability and referability.
Jim says he won’t refer people just because they ask or are family or friends
Jim shares a story about another kid who he had to stop helping because he wasn’t coachable
Jim asks Mark for examples from his recruiting profession
Mark talks about coaching people in the interview process and the topics of compensation and setting expectations at the end of the interview
Jim laughs at how many people disregard his advice
Mark says polite persistence is a positive attribute
Jim talks about the power of questions and listening way more than you talk 80/20
Mark completely agrees and says opened ended are the way to go
Mark also says questions are the best way to disagree with someone too
Jim takes us back to the kid at the wedding and says he manifested his beautiful life by being coachable, referable and persistent
Mark says these skills are lifelong and we should constantly work on getting better
Jim shares his story about working with patent attorneys
He emphasizes the importance of working with great clients
Removing the friction
Mark shares his story about changing auto mechanics and why we pay experts that know stuff we don’t know
Jim shares his perspective about his gardener and how is so referable and never lets Jim down. He is ultimately referable
Mark shares the feeling of satisfaction of having referred someone and having that person come through
Be more coachable, be referable and be persistent